40- and 50-Something Parents

I am looking for discussion that is relevant to the 40+ parent who is reaching the end of the parenting days and looking forward to the next stage with all the mixed feelings that brings.  I have two daughters, a sophomore in college and a junior in high school..  I am proud of the young women I see them becoming, but am in a new place as far as figuring out my role as their mother.  I want to support them and be their mother, to be a part of their lives as I know they will be branching out on their own and needing me less and less.  How much advice do I give?  How much do they really need?  When do I let them find their own way?  Obviously, the 16 year-old still gets limits and boundaries, but the college girl...? 

I'd love to hear some other women's experiences.

Getting there too - I have a ds16; jr in HS, and only child.  He's considering staying home and attending a local university, but that's not for sure.  Now that he has a car and a girlfriend and buddies to hang out with, we don't see him nearly as much as before, which I'm sure is the way it should be, but it's hard!

Sue

We're leading parallel lives, I think, with me just a few years ahead.

My daughters are 19 and 22, a college sophomore & first-year law student, respectively. I still set some boundaries for the 19-yr-old when she's home. She believes she shouldn't have any curfew at all, but we do need to know where she'll be and when she's coming home. Her sister was much better at communicating when she'd be late, etc.

We're definitely in uncharted territory, trying to navigate this new land of parenting adult children. Although we always worry, my husband & I think it's nice having the house to ourselves, and knowing both girls are exactly where they need to be. Still, like you, I struggle with providing what these two almost-grown young women need from a mom.

Is your college daughter happy at school? My older daughter had a very good undergrad experience. She and her roommate lived together all 4 years, and I think theirs will become a lifelong friendship. The younger had a horrible roommate freshman year, but learned from the experience. ;-) She has a circle of close friends, and joined a sorority last semester. What plans does your 16-year-old have for applying to schools? I'd love to hear more.

Best of luck!