ADD/ADHD

Hi ,

I'm new to this board. I have a 4 yo boy. This is his second year of preschool and his teacher has had some issues with him lately and I'm starting to wonder if it's a normal thing or if this could be signs of early adhd. At our next visit I plan to bring it up to his doc but for now I'm coming to this board and seeing what I can get from others.

First of all he's ALWAYS been an energetic child. From the time he could kick his legs or move his arms he's  been a go-go sort of child.  But at the same time he can sit still.He's a very smart child. He does simple math in his head.. addition, subtraction & gets it right (even today in the car out of the blue he was like 6 and 6 is 12 moma). He's fascinated by geography, planets, and loves books. We probably read 30-45 minutes before bedtime. At bedtime he pays attention he sits there completely still even if we read the same books. If we do handwriting or math on his dry erase board he ALWAYS pays attention. He can sit with a workbook or play-doh or a craft for a half hour at home if he's interested and never move. He helps me do simple chores..and he helps when I ask..sometimes I have to repeat..but isn't that every kid? It just seems like his pre-k teacher has issues with his behavior. This week she said he hasn't been listening very well..but she also noted that they keep talking about Halloween (something he can't wait for) so that could be some of the issue.

She has noted that he gets very excited about things & that he seems fidgetty alot (moreso than the others), she has to remind him to slow down at school ( ie not walking but sometimes running in line). She tells me that he's very smart and sweet but his "listening " is sometimes an issue. She's been a preK teacher for years and I know she sees the spectrum of personalities. I like her, my son likes her,  but at the same time  I don't want to dx him in my mind over the teachers comments. She's also said that sometimes he'll just blurt things out in circle time.

Over the past week I've gotten books out of the library..sort of this is how we behave @ school books and we've went over raising our hands..walking in line...and he seems to get it. I'm not one of those parents that thinks my son can do no wrong. But it is frustrating when I know he's capable of being well-behaved. It feels like atleast 1 or 2 days a week he seems to have an issue. At the end of the day, I only have control over situations @ home. I can try to correct or modify his behavior here, but I have no way of doing it @ school. I hope that the "correction" I make here will carry over.

I'm just a little confused ..frustrated really ...it's like well couldn't some of this be typical for a 4 yo?  He just turned 4 in the summer so at this age I know months can make a difference developmentally. Some of the kids in his class are a full 10 mos older. Another thing is he goes to Sunday School for 3 hours on the weekends and they never have an issue with him. When I asked his Sunday School teacher if he was good in class she just gave me a "yeah of course he was good" look.  As my husband says they are "looking"for different things  (ie sunday school could be less structured) but his sunday school is alot like the preschool schedule. He went to 3 weeks of camp this summer and they never had any behavior issues... He's been in several sports classes @ the Y where he had to take instruction from someone besides me and he paid attention to the sports drills and did the exercises, no problem. I talk to my MIL and my husband was an energetic kid too...but he was never dx adhd.

He has 2 teachers in his class. The head teacher is the one raising her concerns, but I talk to the co-teacher and she just thinks hes at times "rambunctious".  The co-teacher will tell me that he's fine...but then the head will come up and say "but ...we had this issue... ". I mean if there was such an issue wouldn't opinions be uniform ..esp by all of  the teachers who spend mornings with him (sunday school too). I'm just confused because I think there is alot of gray area when you start to talk about this..like whats adhd vs energetic or immaturity? I'd appreciate thoughts on this..similiar situations...that sort of thing..thanks 

Hi, and welcome!

Honestly, he sounds like a normal energetic, and possibly gifted 4 yo boy. You are right, a few months can make a world of difference. I would enjoy him, and when he starts 1st or second grade, if he still has problems, explore it, if not, great!

You've hit the nail on the head: it is VERY hard to tell the difference between ADHD & normal energetic at that age. Or, ADHD & other things...

So, here. If I could guarantee you that your kid was ADHD right now, what would you do? Bit young to medicate, especially since it doesn't sound like it is affecting him that much. So, all you'd do is go read some books about ADHD & behavioral modifications. That's actually a perfectly reasonable thing & you'll find that pretty much everything they recommend for ADHD kids works great on most non-ADHD kids, too--lots of positive reinforcement, behavioral reward systems, very clear rules, warnings about things about to change. Given what you're writing, it wouldn't surprise me if you were already doing some of this stuff.

Metrics: Well, at 4, mine couldn't do a 3 step instructions, most of the time: Clean up what you are working on, go wash your hands, and sit down at the table--that'd be a preschool one. I've also got an energetic kid who (as of today, 4th grade) isn't ADHD; it "feels" different, and while he can't always do 3-step directions either, you can tell a difference in what happens.

Finally, one of the requirements for an ADHD diagnosis is that you "see" the problem in more than one location--so, school AND home, school AND church. Sounds to me like you have an issue with one teacher, and not another, and not at home, and not at church.

Based on your post - I don't see ADHD symptons - I see a kid that is most likely very gifted and is getting bored at pre-K and like my son was - got defient.  Would not listen. I did switch pre-K which really helped

My son is ADHD - but when you describe your home and Sunday school - I don't see it - wait at least til 1st grade