Adoption

Did anyone feel super anxious and kind of bummed after getting matched?

I'm on the fence between feeling overjoyed and then convincing myself that it probably won't work out. Planning for two babies (yet not actually DOING anything to get ready, just thinking about it) and thinking about how far set back we'll be if this doesn't work out, and what we'll do then.

I have no indication that pbmom is anything other than sure of her plans, but I realize that they are just PLANS and plans can change at any time.

Has anyone else gone through this??? Any suggestions for how to snap out of it?

Thanks!

Adrienne,

Thanks! Yes, that is exactly it... I am the also the type who likes to prepared, everything ready and perfect. I am mentally planning out the nursery, but I haven't started any actual work on it because I just don't want to become to emotionally invested yet... if that makes any sense. As it is now, the room was decorated for our baby boy that was stillborn, so I only can think of it as "his" room and I really need to change it.

And my husband has put his foot down about the shopping... no shopping untill we actually bring a baby home!

Right now I'm thinking of taking up sewing to give me a project...

Well...we're not matched yet (still waiting for our profile to get final approval), but I'm planning ahead. Not so much with 'getting ready for baby' type of stuff, but I'm just planning to keep myself busy - I volunteer twice a week in my dd's Kindergarten class, I'm going to start a volunteer shift at our local library, planning on helping out with our agencies family association in our area...

Unfortunately going back to work hasn't worked out well - I'm a teacher and our district has a current hiring freeze. I didn't want to take a full time position (when I had the chance) because I didn't want to leave in the middle of the year in case we got a placement, subbing is currently also frozen...I may look into subbing at some of the local preschools.

Maybe look at this as a time where you can pick up something new that you've always wanted to try - take a class to learn how to knit/scrapbook/decorate cakes/etc., start a new exercise routine, volunteer with a charity you feel connected to...

For me I find it helps if I'm not thinking 'baby' 24/7, KWIM? I think when the time comes we'll do minimal prep and just go with the flow - when we brought dd home the nursery was finished, but she ended up sleeping in a cradle in our room for 6 months...you know the saying "The best laid plans of mice and men...." :o)

Susan

We were matched in Feburary and our son was born the end of May. My husband was also the cautious one, the one who wanted to protect me from getting hurt. But I HAD to plan. I had to be prepared. I convinced him to do things in stages. We painted the room, thats it nothing else.  We told our parents and my mother started shopping, but didn't tell us about it. His mother took me shopping because she wanted to buy something. So we thought, what would we need, So we let her buy the car seat and some sleepers. Every month that passed we did something else, pick out a nursery theme, move our the guest bed, registered at the begining of May. This was difficult because he saw it as being final. My outlook was well this is what we would be doing if I were pregnant and that is risky too. Lets treat it like that. We had a small shower before our Son was born and a HUGE shower afterwords.

I kept my self busy keeping a journal, putting together a book for him and working with his birth mom to put together "His Story" book. A scrapbook of his story, this is still not finished and our Son is 5 months old. A work in progress. I am glad we did it the way we did, in stages allowed me to fill some sort of control over the situation and we were prepared when we brought our blessing home.

Haggy