Central & South American Adoption

we brought our son home from guatemala three weeks ago. he is a healthy, active, smiley nine-month-old but sometimes he displays behaviors that make us wonder if they are due to his age, independant personality or adoption.

here are his behaviors that we question:

1. he doesn't make great eye contact with us during feedings. he will glance for a few seconds, but then look away. do you think this is "normal" for this age or a sign of something greater?

2. he is a "wiggle worm" often when we pick him up. we feel he doesn't like to be held a lot, and would rather get down and play or "walk."

3. sometimes he is un-pleasable. he doesn't want to be held nor put down and we just don't know what to do with him.

4. he is not particularly cuddly.

thoughts?

thanks in advance,
molly

I am in no way an expert, but maybe I can help a little. Was your son in foster care or an orphanage? Our first two were in foster care and we visited them two times during the process for extended stays. They were very cuddly and bonded instantly. Our second two were in two different orphanages and we were not able to visit them. I don't believe they were held much and we had some of the issues you are dealing with. It didn't take long though for them to come around. For example, our daughter always wanted to clutch on to something with her hand. She loved any kind of rattle. Probably for security reasons. She would enjoy holding time much more when I gave her a rattle. Maybe you could try spreading a blanket on the floor and a few toys and try cuddling that way. Maybe if he has the choice he will like it better. I'm sure as some more time passes you will find things that will work with your son. Every chid is different and some do not care to be held even if they were not just adopted. Please email me if you have any questions. I could go on forever...LOL

Angie-Mom to Emily(4), Allen(4), Laura(2 1/2), & Louis(2 1/2)-All adopted from Guatemala

ruesugar@aol.com

I haven't adopted yet but heres my 2 cents!! I'm an occupational therapist (I work with adults) but I work with a woman who is a pediatric occupational therapist who is wonderful at evaluating babies/children and determining if there are any developmental delays, sensory integration deficits, etc and treating the baby/child as needed. If the behaviors continue and you are wondering what may be going on, I would talk with your pediatrician and ask for an order for your child to see a "pediatric occupational therapist" and one that has a speciality in sensory integration and/or has some years of work under her belt as a pediatric O.T.

Take care,
Patty