She just wants to go against anything *I* say at all PERIOD...
example: when she deployed to Korea 2 years ago, we had custody of the kids for that year. The kids bus stop was 6 blocks from our house INSIDE our housing area. A group of 12 kids all walked together 4 blocks up and 2 blocks over to the bus stop. My sdd was 11 and dss was 9. They left about 10 min before we left for work, and would get home about 15 min after I got home from work give or take. somtimes Id beat them home, and sometimes theyd beat me home. If they got home first, they would go to our neighbors house with their kids and stay til I got home.
BM thew a FIT about them walking to the bus stop saying it was unsafe, and they would get kidnapped, and she would report me to cps for child endangerment. She didnt call dh to ask him how far away the bus stop was, or ask him if we could make different arrangements, or tell HIM she thought it was unsafe. She called her DAUGHTER, screaming at HER, and made HER cry, telling HER she was going to get kidnapped and killed etc. so the next morning ( this convo wasnt discussed with me yet) sdd REFUSED to walk to the bus stop, then had a major melt down, wouldnt even get in the car, tried to get out while I was driving.. we ended up in her psychologists office, i missed work etc. ( after that we taped moms phone calls) well then dh talked to mom and the counselor and it was agreed it WAS SAFE enough for them to walk to the bus stop if wed follow in our car and wait for the bus to pick them up, then allow them to walk home on ONE ROUTE AND ONE ROUTE ONLY and they had to be home at a specified time or we'd come looking.
a couple months later, dss came home, but not dsd. He said she was up the road playing in a half built house. ( it is a newer edition, and new homes were always going up. so dss and I walked the route up to the bus stop... NO DSD! I started to panic. we walked back, calling for her. looked at home, checked with the neighbor.. nope. looked all over.... had neighbors looking for her... FINALY found her SEVERAL BLOCKS OVER PLAYING IN A HALF BUILT HOUSE!! I scolded her all the way home, telling her how her mom was so scared for her, how scared *I* was, the neighbors were, all those tools at that house were dangerous, etc, she just kep laughing at me. she had paint all over her, that shed played with and she just didnt care. Dh was in the field for 2 weeks so the punishment was all on me. I grounded her from everythin for 2 weeks.
she got MAD and when her mom called she told her i had grounded her and her mom wanted to talk to me. I explained what happened, and her mom told me I HAD NO RIGHT TO PUNISH HER CHILD. I was too strict, and my rules were child abuse in nature. one evening of no tv was enough. I told her sorry but this is MY house and your child is on MY WATCH. she is LAUGHING about this incident, and doesnt CARE that I was terrified! or that she was playing around this place!! ITS NOT POSSIBLE for me or dh to meet the bus daily, or the neighbor so she HAS TO BE RESPONSIBLE ENOUGH to walk 8 blocks home, STRAIGHT HOME. bm said I needed to stop abusing her child with my strict rules....
she also thinks I shouldnt have a bed time during the summer
or make the kids use utensiles at meals. they should be allowed to eat with their hands if they want. My 13 y.o. dd thinks its ok to eat mashed potatoes with her fingers. .....
need I go on???
