Stepfamilies & Divorce

Slow is good; trust your gut instinct, it's usually right.

If this guy is the superstar you think he is, he'll want the divorce to be finalized before ya'll are an official couple to the world and he meets the child.  If it's real, he'll wait.

It takes a while to heal from a bad relationship; that's why experts recommend waiting.

You know, sometimes a marriage has been over SOO LOONNG before you ever FILE for divorce that it really FEELS like you've been divorced for much longer than you have been in the eyes of the law.

It's good that you are taking things slowly, and going in with your eyes open about your son, and his recent calling off of a wedding.

what exactly is 'slow' in your book? a date? or just talking online and phone calls? or does it involve kissing but no sex?

I suppose my advice is you never know until you give it a try, then you just go with your gut like the pp said. I think you already answered all of your own questions in your post. You don't have anything bad to say about him, and you already know you want to take it slowly to be on the safe side. I say decide ahead of time what personal or emotional boundries YOU want to lay down for yourself if any.... like I mentioned above. Then stick a toe in and go wading!!!

After I had my heart broken for what I swore was the last time, I spent a few happy years, just dating. I KNEW I was not going to get into a serious relationship EVER again!

On the FIRST DATE with Chris I KNEW I was a gonner. 3 months to the DAY later, we were married. This Jan we'll celebrate 7 years of wedded best friendship ; )

good luck!!

wedded best friendship

Awww, that's a darling way to state it.  Congratulations.

I certainly relate to the marriage "being over before its officially over". We were married for almost four and half years and it was a total roller coaster. Like a BiPolar relationship... trial is Monday and I'm looking forward to having all this behind me. Part of me worries about not having really dated other people... I got married when I was eighteen and had one long relationship before that in high school. So on one hand its not like me to date around and juggle boyfriends. I'm more of a serious relationship kind of girl. On the other hand, my last choice wasn't the best so I question my judgement a little and wonder if I should do things differently this time just to say I tried it. But the thought of dating is akward and alien to me. And having one person spoil me a little has been really nice. I have someone to look forward to when my son is visiting his dad. Its too soon to be thinking about "forever" with new guy... I may be smitten but I'm not crazy, lol! But it has been a very welcome relief.

Its good to hear a success story about finding someone and "knowing" right away! Congrats on finding that one!!

Its true I usually answer my own questions but, like I said, I have trouble trusting my judgement these days. Its nice to get feedback!