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Relationships Damaged by Pornography

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Oct-13


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discussion title:
 

Honestly think he needs an intervention

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message #:
  6183.1
replies:
  4
from:
  donnakny24
date:
  Oct-8 12:52 pm

I found out about my husbands porn website addiction 2 yrs ago. I took it hard then and it still hurts me now. But at this point, I'm beginning to think that he has a serious problem. Like seriously! As in I think that he needs to be admitted into a rehab for porn addicts center. We've gone to counseling, met with our youth pastor almost every week, spoken to his parents, and read books on how I can deal with this emotionally and how he can take steps to recovery. But as always, he never sticks to any of the options. At the moment, he's not being accountable to anyone to help him. The one person that he used to go to he doesn't feel comfortable speaking to anymore. He needs someone to help him. Our pastor installed a filter on his laptop and he still finds a way around it to look at porn! Goodness! It's a continual cycle... I'll find out, he'll feel bad, we'll talk to someone about it, he'll change for a few days then back to the websites. I'm getting very sick and tired of all of this. I begged him not to buy a laptop until he got better but he insisted, promised he wouldn't go on any inappropriate Website and he is. He spends more time on his laptop than he does with me and my son. We have very little communication between us because he rather sit on his computer than talk. Our pastor told him that he needs to minimize his time online to 1 hr a day and he does not act on that. A few months ago, he didn't know if he wanted to stay married because he was tired of asking me to do the same things over and over and I wouldn't change. Ok so now I changed (even though he said that I wouldn't stick to it) and I do everything that he needs me to do. But now he's still addicted to Internet porn and he won't change. Hmm? I know he's only 21 but he'll want sex like 3 times a day and still look at porn. That let's me know there's something seriously wrong. He's constantly grabbing my breast at every opportunity he gets and it makes me uncomfortable. We could be hugging or cuddling and then he goes for the boobs. I know that most likely it's the porn that's giving him a distorted view of sex and that's not cool with me. I don't know what else to do but I can't deal with this for the next 10 yrs and I can't stand not trusting him at all!
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cmtasha  Member Icon
last visit to this board
Nov-23


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discussion title:
 

Honestly think he needs an intervention

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message #:
  6183.2 in response to 6183.1
replies:
  4
from:
  cmtasha  Member Icon
to:
  donnakny24
date:
  Oct-8 3:57 pm

Big (hugs) to you! It must be very frustrating to feel that things aren't getting any better. Kudos to you for seeing your pastor. I wish you lots of luck. Hopefully others will chime in with their support and advice, too!

((HUGS))

 

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last visit to this board
Nov-12


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discussion title:
 

Honestly think he needs an intervention

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message #:
  6183.3 in response to 6183.1
replies:
  4
from:
  rj0622
to:
  donnakny24
date:
  Oct-26 11:31 pm

put up with it for 10 yrs?  You mean lifetime, right? You are married?   He is a mess. You have gone to counseling, seen the pastor,  talked to his PARENTS - that alone should have shamed him into changing.  Sounds terrible.

You are young.  I think you should divorce and salvage your life.  This guy's brain sounds like he has been playing the software of porn so long that his brain is now HARDWIRED with this as its main pathway.  I doubt a lifetime with this man could ever be normal.  My heart goes out to you.
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last visit to this board
Oct-31


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discussion title:
 

Honestly think he needs an intervention

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message #:
  6183.4 in response to 6183.3
replies:
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from:
  mce09
to:
  rj0622
date:
  Oct-27 3:48 pm

Sorry this is happening to you.  Internet porn is destroying many people's lives...I also know of several men who were fired from their jobs because they couldn't stay off of it while at work (one of them was a boss at work).

I've recently started looking into this because I am suffering as a result of someone's Internet porn addiction as well.  My boyfriend needs to get on the computer for porn as soon as he hits the door.  I truly don't understand...  But what I have read is that it may be tied into OCD--Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.  You've been in counseling, so this has probably come up...but just wanted to mention it anway.

Please remember, as hurtful as it is--it's not about you.  Best wishes to you...take care.
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