Homeschooling

I keep reading about how families here have family members who consider hs'ing a bad thing and have concerns about it. Does anyone want to share stories of hs'ing families who had other family members who were ok or even approving of your choice?

I've only had two people who questioned my decision. One was my sister, who felt really bad b/c DD6 would "have no friends". The other was DD's teacher, who was also concerned about the socialization aspect of it. I didn't hear any other negative comments (not that I would have cared, lol). As a matter of fact, since we made the decision to hs, my BIL/SIL have decided to hs their son, who would start school next year. I don't know that our decision had any affect on their decision, but it's still a good feeling. My BIL actually asked my MIL if I would hs his son! I don't think he trusts his wife to do it well. Now, my mom wants to hs my niece (the DD of my sister, who was against it). Supposedly, she has severe ADHD, and has been removed from TWO schools (she's in Kindergarten!), b/c of her behavior.

I'd like to hear other positive stories. Would anyone like to share theirs?

Leslie
Wife to Mike
Mom to:
Taylor 6-27-98
Rachel 2-10-03
Chris 7-23-04

Well, MIL homeschooled the youngest 2 of her 4 kids (DH is the oldest) for high school so when we told her (a) you're going to be a grandma closely followed by (b) we're going to homeschool, she was thrilled. She has said several times, in watching DS grow up unfettered by school, that she wishes DH could have been homeschooled but by the time homeschooling was coming into its own, he was graduating high school (yes, there is a BIG gap between the 2 oldest and the 2 youngest - roughly 17 years and it's not even a blended or adoptive family, that's just the way it worked out lol)

As for my family, I had one cousin - career educator, teacher, principal, guidance counselor type - who thought it was a bad idea. She brought up, yup, socialization. Then when I mentioned some activity DS was doing that day (park day, co-op activity, "field trip", whatever) she said she didn't realize homeschoolers got out and got together. So, her opinion of the situation lost any validity right there. I have an 87 yr old aunt who at first had lots of questions but as I patiently answered the questions (she was "only" about 84 at the time lol), she came to see it as a great thing and wished HER son could have been homeschooled. Now she is one of our biggest supporters - she really gets it! My immediate family is generally of the "we may not totally get it, but it's your family and your choice". I don't tell them how to raise their kids and they don't tell us how to raise our kid. My parents' general outlook is "We raised you to make good choices as best as you can. Now we're done and we're going to just enjoy (and spoil! lol) our grandkids" This is pretty cool considering we're unschooling - nothing even remotely looks like anything school that they'd recognize.

Friends, likewise, have had questions but we mostly just answer them with more questions, usually starting with Why...? We also quote the state statute (CGS 10-184 BTW for those in CT) quite a bit and that really helps - "obviously", anyone who can quote the statutes nearly verbatim and by chapter and verse has really considered this and researched it carefully.

All in all, we've really not had any teribly bad experiences. AND, due to some issues at school, my SIL and brother are considering homeschooling their older son (who is just younger than my DS). AND a coworker (who knows DS) has almost convinced her DD that DGS really should be homeschooled, again due to issues with school, because coworker sees how the freedomand flexibility that DS has have really cut down on lots of the stresses her DGS is under (he is also close in age to my DS). So rather than it being a difficult thing, we are helping folks around us see that homeschooling can be a really good thing.

I don't think I've really had a negative experience.  My mom was initially against hs'ing, but that was before we were ever really considering it.  By the time we decided to try it, she was all for it and now is appalled by the thought of us sending our kids back to school!  lol  My in-laws were against it and tried to talk us out of it, but weren't especially negative about it.  They're now on-board, as well.

I've even had several friends, family members and aquaintances begin hs'ing since we started, so we must be a pretty good influence!  lol

Our most positive experience came from the side of the family we expected the most negative reaction from. We were up visiting at my grandma's house with my dad and stepmom, as well as my dad's sister. It was the summer before dd was to start preschool. Someone commented that she'd be starting school in the fall, and my aunt asked if we had considered homeschooling. No one in the room knew that we had ALREADY decided to homeschool, but were just being hush-hush about it. Everyone was so positive, and my dad continues to be - often telling me how proud they are of dh and I for making this choice.

My mom hasn't been negative, but she's skeptical. It's just not within her comfort level.

(edited to add): I forgot to mention that dh's dad was homeschooled, more by necessity (they lived in the country and there were no schools around) than by choice. He ended up being very involved in local politics and ran for local office a few times. Needless to say, there was no oposition from that side of the family!

What a nice idea - I look forward to other positive stories as well!

Laura, Natalie (5 1/2) and Andrew (25mo)

I've never had anyone question our choice. Closest thing to a negative experience I've ever had was a 3 minute conversation with a male school teacher/neighbor. He wanted to know if I planned to send ds to PS after the elementary years and I told him no -- he had a funny look on his face and said "oh". (I took the look to mean he expected me to say yes.) I think it offends him personally that I don't put my faith and my child in his/the system's hands. Anyway.

My mom was no longer alive when I had my ds but I really think she'd have been my biggest cheerleader. My sister, brother, and in-laws have all always been supportive. Never a negative word or even a doubt-filled question. They all knew from the get-go that this child would not see the inside of a school building as a student. I don't think all of them were *that* knowledgable or "sold" on the idea of hs'ing as much as it was a matter of I have a strong personality and if I say I'm doing something... I'm doing it, period. Dh was always on board, always, and he's my helper in this endeavor. My brother once had a conversation with me - while his girls were young - asking me how I went about doing this. In the end I found he admired what I did. My sister has always been a strong supporter. She feels if someone has the ability/means that this is how children should be educated as opposed to the PS system. She has seriously considered hs'ing at least one of her four grandsons. Sometimes the daughter is for it and other times her head is going in another direction so I'm doubting it will happen. It's a shame because the daughter is already pushing toward getting the child diagnosed with add or adhd... he's only 4! I think she's setting the child up for a hard road and I know there's a better one to take. <sigh>

My sister-in-law was very active in her ds's education tho he attended PS. Whether she knows it or not (lol) she after-schooled him thru graduation! The habit is still with her now that he's in college! There were times when he'd have an assignment or particular thing he was working on in school that she'd ask for my help in getting resources and ways of getting something across. She's very into Georgie's education and always wants to know what he's working on or reading... and always pointing out educational things that might interest him. Same for brother-in-law. In fact he wants to teach him how to work with wood and build things, sort of like an apprentice. He also shares with him how to play Mexican songs on the guitar. Family support - I've got it!:-)

Friends and acquaintances always positive as well. Some are hs'ers, some are not.

I feel fortunate when I read/hear others having negatives thrown at them for their choice or just for considering hs'ing. I don't understand why family and friends would be anything other than supportive of a loved one trying to do the best for their kids. It makes no sense.

Michelle (hs'ing ds(10) from birth)