We stayed at a very nice B&B, co-owned by a lesbian couple and their son. They own 4 facilities all within a block or so of each other. They're BEAUTIFUL!
The proprietor, Darlene, was the person I talked to when I called to book the room. I asked her if she knew who we could contact to solemnize the marriage - JP, minister, priest...whatever. Next thing I know, I've got a chaplain scheduled, plans to have the wedding in her garden at one of her homes, as well as our booked room! There was a small fee attached to using the property - something they do for a LOT of same-sex couples.
We went up to Niagara Falls on Saturday the 3rd...we were to be married Monday the 5th (it's the anniversary of our Vermont civil union - that's why Monday). So, we did Niagara on the Lake on Saturday afternoon and on Sunday the 4th, we walked over to see Darlene - make sure our plans were firmed up, etc. This woman is AMAZING!
We ended up sitting and chatting with her for over an hour - just shootin' the breeze like we'd known each other for decades. She suggested we go to a local grocery and buy some N/A champagne for the ceremony for our guests and told us to bring it by there and put it in the refrigerator in her bath house out back.
We did the falls on the 4th - hot and humid! We walked back up to our B&B and got the car, drove to the grocery store and got 2 bottles of N/A wine, and took it to Darlene's. She was on the front porch with another lesbian couple who was staying at her place - next thing we know, there we are sitting there chatting away with Darlene and these two women - like we'd known each other for years! It was getting to be about 6:30 and Lisa and I had talked about maybe going someplace nice for dinner on the night before our wedding. We asked Darlene if she could recommend someplace. She told us about several different places, but then looked at Lisa and said "You want to take your sweetie someplace really NICE?" Lisa said "Absolutely yes!" Next thing we know, Darlene has called a restaurant called "Casa Mia" and made reservations for us - then she calls a cab company, tells the cab to pick us up at our B&B at 7:30. She hangs up the phone, tells us that the cab ride to and from the restaurant is free - paid for by the restaurant because of some arrangement the restaurant has with several of the local B&B's.
We had a wonderful dinner - superb surf-n-turf. We went all out for ourselves, didn't spare a dime.
The next morning we got ready, checked out of our room, and went over to Darlene's place. She had the back yard all set up beautifully. A table with a beautiful old runner on it, two candles on either end. Between the two candles were two fishbowl style goblets, half filled with water, each with a single red rose floating atop the water. Just in front of the candles and roses were two crystal champagne flutes. Everything was set up in front of a beautiful waterfall, where we'd have the ceremony - and everything was in bloom...it was GORGEOUS!
There was a portable bar set up with both bottles chilling in an ice bucket, and other glasses for our guests. The two women who'd been on the front porch with Darlene the night before had asked if they could watch - we told them that the more was the merrier. They arrived out back at noon, along with our neighbor (who was one of our witnesses).
My son was devastatingly handsom in his dress pants, white shirt and tie. So tanned and handsome! Lisa took my hand and we walked up the stone path to the waterfall where the chaplain and my son and our neighbor waited. As we arrived there, my son reached over and took my hand and squeezed it and held it for a few seconds longer. I swear I saw pride on that young man's face!
We wrote our own ceremony - the chaplain changed nothing (this is HER way of doing things). Lisa trembled throughout the whole thing. I was amazed at how calm I stayed - it's usually ME that's the nervous Nellie!
At one point, I looked over and saw Darlene wiping her nose, her eyes filled with tears. I'm pretty sure she provided those at no cost... The song we had played, "When you say you love me" by Josh Groban, put the other couple in tears and before the ceremony even started, there weren't many dry eyes left. After we exchanged vows, LISA offered a toast to everyone, thanking them for their friendship, their time, and their support.
I have to say that I often don't take good pictures, I'm always critical of how I look in them, and the camera just doesn't like me. But of the couple of hundred pictures taken of that wedding, I am amazed at how good I looked, how well I photographed, and let me tell you, I was GLOWING! I wore a "champagne" colored formal dress with beaded jacket. Lisa wore a blue pinstriped suit - she looked just PERFECT!
After the ceremony ended and we signed our documents, it began to sprinkle, so Darlene hustled us into the front parlor, and we sat for some time in the company of the chaplain, Darlene, our witnesses, and the other couple...just chatting away easily.
This is the third time Lisa and I have exchanged vows of some sort. In 2001 we had a civil union done in Vermont. This past March, as some of you remember, we were married in New Paltz along with 25 other couples. We came out of that New Paltz thing with new friends that we still correspond with and have visited a couple of times (they live in Buffalo).
Interestingly enough, it seems to be a GLBT phenomenon sort of thing that a marriage, commitment ceremony, whatever you want to call it, brings you together with people that you might never have known otherwise. And it's not just that you meet these people out of chance, you meet these people because they do cartwheels and handsprings (or so it seems) in order to help you put together your special moment in the sun. We truly are blessed - all of us - to belong to such a community as this.
And yes...we FEEL differently now. We can't put our finger on it, we can't even articulate WHAT feels different. It just DOES.
Janna - who can't seem to lose that huge grin on her face!
