discussion title:
Do you still avoid pg women & babies?
As a Music Together teacher who makes a living working with babies, toddlers and often their pg moms, I certainly can't avoid babies. The only way I was able to get through the rest of the semester after my second m/c was to detach myself and view my classes as a job. I did that so well that at the end of the semester, the majority of the moms in my classes were shocked to learn that I'd had an m/c seven weeks earlier. So many of them came forward later with their own m/c stories and with words of encouragement not to give up.
But it's still hard to see pg women and especially women with newborns. When my SIL's second child was born 9 months ago, it tore at me to see SIL nursing and rocking the baby to sleep...in short, nurturing her DD. This past weekend I had to go shopping at Buy Buy Baby for two separate baby showers I've been invited to in the next month -- one of which takes place a few days after what would have been my due date. It was difficult enough to be surrounded by impossibly cute baby items that I would have been buying for myself if life were fair. But to be surrounded by pg women and women pushing newborns in strollers made it worse. My emotions were in a turmoil. I managed to stay in control, but only by reminding myself that with a 5-year-old DD, I no longer had to contend with sleepless nights, colic, bottles or diaper changes. But that's a problem I'd love to have again.
Do you find yourself still avoiding pg women and/or babies regardless of how long it's been since your loss?
Soni
DD 5/13/99
DA 8/1/02
DA 2/4/04
