Pregnancy Loss

My husband and I have been married for 9  years.  We have two girls, ages 8 and 5.  Four years ago, my husband had a vasectomy at my insistence.  I really did not want more children.  So about the middle of July this year I start having symptoms of pregnancy.  Nausea, vomiting, the whole works.  It just can't be.  4 years after a vasectomy?  But it was.  I got a positive on 8/7.  I was actually very excited and profoundly moved spiritually, thinking this baby was just meant to be.  Two days later I started miscarrying and I have been an emotional wreck since then.  I was only 4 weeks pregnant with a baby I didn't even want, yet I am depressed and can hardly stop crying.  I don't know why I got pg at 36 against such enormous odds only to miscarry.  I am trying to find the meaning in all of it.  I was devastated when my dh said he wants to have his vasectomy re-done.  I just felt it was an opportunity to step back and pray about whether we made the right decision 4 years ago, and for him to say that just makes it all feel like a mistake.  I have never miscarried before and it is so weird to feel so many pg symptoms and have them be gone overnight.  I feel such loss, and foolish for feeling loss because it was unplanned and very unexpected.  But I saw it as a gift nonetheless and wish I could have my baby back.  I am just so confused.  The baby was due 4/16/05.