ODD: Oppositional Defiant Disorder

Quick HI and WELCOME ... and a promise to add more later.  Running short on time today, been a little hectic here, but didn't want you to think there was no one here.  Sounds to me like you definitely have your hands full.  Problem is that 2 y.o. is a little early for a diagnosis ... and most docs won't really do much because that age is typical of 'terrible 2's' ... 2 y.o.'s are impulsive by nature, they have limited vocabulary, so they react physically as they are unable to express themselves verbally.  You may want to look at our Resource Site (above) for info on ODD, including a sample behavior chart.  Problem is, unless he's on the high end of 2 (as in almost 3) I don't know if he has the mental ability to understand the concept.  I think you definitely need to re-direct him, praise him when he does well.  In the meantime, you also need to remove everything you can from his reach ... steak knives should not be anywhere he can get his hands on them.  You'll have to separate the kids so the others can do their work and projects without interruption.  Military docs probably have limited capacity of dealing with behaviorally challenged kids, so you may have to find a doc elsewhere ... but I would suggest you have him evaluated if you can find a doc to do it.

Also rule out physical problems.  Sleep apnea, for instance, can cause behavioral problems in children ... food allergies will do the same.

Good luck ... more later ...

I promised to come back to this, so here I am ... but not sure what more I can really add.  It is really a tough call since he is so young.  I don't think you can expect any help from his BM since she seems to have her own set of issues ... and my guess is that her involvement in his life is probably part of the problem.  How confusing for a 2 y.o. child to have 2 mothers around (one not really around) and trying to figure out where he fits in.  That's gotta be tough.  How is DH handling all of this ... afterall this is his biological child.  But, there is anger coming from him that is more intense than normal from a child this age.  As I said before, kids that age will act out physically because they lack the verbal ability to express themselves ... that is normal ... but typically, it may mean hitting or biting ... not bashing his head through a glass door or stabbing his mother with a steak knife.  He's learning this violence from somewhere ... where?  What is he seeing (TV, movies) or witnessing (at BM's house, perhaps) that is causing such a reaction?  My guess is there has to be a source of this aggression and anger, and perhaps if you're able to find the source, you can stamp out the problem.