How absolutely and utterly frustrating! I feel your pain. OMG, what were they thinking when you scheduled the appt? Afterall, I'm assuming you also would have to sign the form saying that you'd be responsible for payment in the event the insurance company doesn't ... bet they'd take your money in order to counsel him! ARGH!
Anyway, let's assume that he does have ODD ... what I can tell you is that punishments and consequences are never going to be effective. Sorry, just doesn't work. These kids are not in control of their behaviors, so when they get punished for them, it only increases their level of frustration and adds to their feeling of worthlessness ... and makes it worse. What is effective is to switch to a positive approach ... see sample behavior chart on our Resource Site. That takes effort on the part of the parent, but well worth the effort IMO. (Can only speak for myself ... but my DS is now almost 13, and the difference from what life was like 4-5 years ago to today is nothing short of amazing ... and its due, in big part, to our changing our approach to parenting this child.)
Keep journaling ... I'd include info on what he ate and what times, and if his behavior pattern changes with his diet. (Food allergies can cause behavioral problems in kids. Sleep apnea can create behaviors that mimic ADHD. So, if you're going to journal, be sure to write down EVERYTHING so that you, or the doc, can see any pattern.)
Good luck! Stay sane. It isn't easy ...
Nancy
