ODD: Oppositional Defiant Disorder

It is with great regret that I inform you that the ODD: Oppositional Defiant Disorder Board here on Parentsoup will be closing.  This is due to lack of activity of late.  The developers and 'powers that be' have been watching boards closely and are shutting down those that they feel do not generate enough activity.  I know that an official post will take place later in the week ... and I'm not sure how much time will be given before we're shut down completely, so I wanted to take a moment and share my own thoughts with those of you who still remain.

The board 2-3 years ago was so much more active than it is currently ... and the slow down occurred at the same time as the format changed and other 'changes' took place on ivillage.  Unfortunately, it never did pick up the speed it had before.

This, for me, is the end of a very special chapter in my life ... not being the "CL" as much as being a part of this community.  This board literally saved my sanity.  When Kevin (now almost 13) was 7-8 years old, my life was hell and I felt totally lost and alone ... and then I discovered this board, and I finally wasn't alone.  Other people understood what it was like to have a child have a rage attack or meltdown over the simplest thing ... others knew what it was like to be physically assaulted by their own child ... others understood when I explained how DH had to physically restrain my son to prevent him from hurting us or himself.  I wasn't alone in the world.

I was PROUD when asked to lead this board ... and, at the time, it seemed like a natural passing of the torch.  Kelly, the former CL, had moved on ... her DS wasn't doing as badly as before and she had to shift her focus elsewhere.  Because of the boad, my website was born (as our Resource Site) and I learned a lot from the research I did for that ... and I believe (certainly hope) that it has been a help to others.

I am sorry that we couldn't generate enough activity to keep the board going.  It wasn't a lack of effort ... I know that I tried, and I know our regular members did as well.  I'd like to believe it's because less people are dealing with this disorder, but I know there are other reasons.

Whatever they are, I want you all to know that I have been honored to serve as CL of this board, and I am privileged to have met so many great and caring and wonderful parents (and supportive friends.)  So, for all you do everyday, and for all you've been to me, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

All the best ... always and forever ...

I wanted to let you know how sorry I am that the lights are being dimmed on the ODD board. What a shame for the parents who want to come here for input, or for a lifeline, and won't be able to do so now. I was in their shoes once (and I still am on some unfortunate days); I can't tell you what it meant to me to have you and others who "get it" at the other end of the modem. Obviously, TPTB have never walked in our shoes, or this board would continue to exist no matter how sporadic the posting.

Nance, you have been an amazing CL and you should be so, SO proud of the work you have done here. You've LISTENED. You've helped so many parents - offered suggestions when you've had some, offered resources to turn to when you haven't. You've helped so many sad, frustrated, angry, confused parents see that there CAN be a light at the end of the tunnel, that they are NOT bad parents, and that they are NOT alone in the morass of having a child with ODD.

Many PS boards have slowed down dramatically - and, yes, the slow-down did seem to be triggered by the format change and subsequent practice of charging for services that were once "free", but (as you said) there were many other contributing factors as well that I won't list here. My "old" board - which was once an amazingly vital, dynamic, and crazy-busy cyber-home for a very close-knit group of women - is inhabited by virtually ALL new members; the last time I checked, the volume of posts was still far below what it was when I still posted there. So, as you know, this is not an isolated scenario.

You are truly one of the best friends that I have and, for that as well, I am ETERNALLY grateful for this board. I know that you and I (and our other wonderful chicklet friend!) will continue our friendship off-line, IRL as it were. But I wanted to go on record here, where we met, to say "You rock, girlfriend!" Be proud of this place, sweetie. And, thank you.

H&H!

Thanks ... for starting my day in tears!  It's people/friends like you that make me realize this hasn't been all in vain ... that this board has been worthwhile and helpful and important.  It used to depress me to see the little activity ... but I felt that as long as we were there when we were needed, we were doing something valuable.  I'm not sure the 'criteria' it takes to keep things floating ... but as I've said, what we may have lacked in quantity, we certainly made up for in substance.

I appreciate your kind and thoughtful words ... and its because of friends like you that make this even more heart-wrenching ... but also evidence of what we did here.

(((HUGS)))

I don't think they'll change their minds ... I'm not sure what the criteria is for keeping a board going, but was told recently that they are starting to close some that are slower moving.  I'm not sure what happens now (and I've asked and will let you know as soon as I hear back.)  In the meantime, send me an email (just click on my name, or go into the Resource Site.)  I have to find out how I might transfer my website to another (since this is also attached to ivillage and I'm not sure if I'll lose it as well.)  I am going to see if I can find another support board for those interested ... or maybe start my own ... because I think it's important for parents of ODD kids to have a place to go to be heard and understood, not judged or criticized.  As I've said over the years, this board had been my lifeline to sanity.  I don't know where I'd be without it ... and for that reason, I wanted to continue to 'give back' ... I'm just sorry that it's ending so quickly.  But, send me an email and as soon as I figure out what to do next, I'll let you know.

(((HUGS)))