24s has officially decided to drop out of the phd program. He has decided it just isn't for him. He is going to wrap up the master's in Dec. The program he was in, included the masters within the phd so he needs to shift just a bit. Fall quarter he'll be taking a 3 credit hour class for his thesis, and he needs another 2 credit hour class to qualify for the the school's medical insurance.
In the meantime, the job hunt is on. Number one on the list of priorities is staying put. He is finally settled in, has friends, and has NO desire to move. That will severely limit his opportunities, and with the current recession... Oh well. He has two undergrad degrees, he should have his masters coming in, and 2 1/2 years of research as well as being published. Surely there will be some sort of job he can get into locally by January???
I had a feeling things weren't right the last few months. I guess I was right. What I didn't know was that he took the summer off to think things through. He's been living off of savings the last couple of months. He seemed down right relieved to have broken the news to us. I don't get it though, I was the one who suggested he drop out of the program a full year ago. Still, it appears as though a giant weight has been lifted from his shoulders, both the program and telling us.
What really pleases me is we were NOT the first to know. He had friends this time. Instead of bottling things up with nowhere to turn, he had folks to talk with and kept him from sinking into another depressive episode. That is the good news in all of this. He finally feels comfortable where he's at. If only he can get a decent job of some sort in the area.
As for 21s, he's off to officer training in GA in another day or two. He squeezed in some Lasik surgery between summer training and this officer training. I sure hope he's fully healed. I personally didn't think it was wise to attempt to squeeze it in so tightly, but he did what he wanted so here's to hoping he'll be fine.
Once 24s gets a job lined up, I guess we as parents will be more in the background then ever before. As I keep saying again and again, life continues marching onward.
I think that is really good news, actually - and it sounds like you do too. There are a lot of positive things in this post. He likes where he is, he feels secure, he has a support system, and he will still end up with a great education. I think that the first 3 will help him be successful more than anything else...OK, the 4th too (don't want to minimize that!)! It must make you breathe a big sigh of relief!
As for us, I haven't really posted about my older dd and her dh because things are still very unsettled with him. He hasn't been able to find a permanent job and they are financially suffering. He's talking about enlisting in the Air Force, which - and I think, mc, you can relate - doesn't thrill us at all. My dd is college educated, working towards finishing her pre-reqs for nursing school, and very motivated to get her nursing degree. She has a great job, just got her hours increased from .7 to .8. He has a HS diploma from a school his parents sent him to in HS b/c of behavior problems, and 5 years infantry in the army. No skills and no interest in doing anything other than law enforcement - but quit the academy after 3 days. Was hoping for GI Bill money but "they screwed it up" so he never got it. It goes on and on, but the reality is that he needs to be taken care of and the military does that - but in this case, my dd's career will be the casualty.
As you say - life marches on, and we just have to watch the chips fall. Sigh....
A parent's worries never seem to end, do they? At least your sil is looking at the Air Force, rather than the army again. We tried really hard to talk 21s in AF, but it just didn't work. They've got their own minds and make their own decisions, whether we like the decisions or not. AF or Army though, the word military is unsettling in itself.
I hope your dd gets that nursing degree, whatever it takes. Nursing is a great field and always employable. Whatever happens, I'm sure you will be there in the background, praying, watching, advising if asked, (that part is tough when they DON'T ask or want advice!) and providing whatever emotional support you can.
My college BF was talking about joining the military, and I hated the idea of worrying about him and all that moving around. Don't get me wrong, I admire and respect those who serve, but it comes at a huge toll on their families, I am sure!
calmama, if she can get her degree finished, I'm guessing the moving wouldn't be so bad? Nursing should be pretty transferable from place to place, right?
<<Was hoping for GI Bill money but "they screwed it up" so he never got it.>> There are now 2 forms of GI Bill, the Montgomery G.I. Bill, and the Post 9/11 G.I. bill. The Post-9/11 GI Bill just became effective for schooling beginning on or after August 1, 2009, so I'm guessing your s-i-l isn't talking about THAT version. I suspect the reason your s-i-l didn't get the Montgomery benefits was because he didn't meet the eligibility requirements. For someone to collect benefits based on ACTIVE duty, they must have ALL of the following... * an Honorable Discharge; * a High School Diploma or GED or in some cases 12 hours of college credit; * Entered active duty for the first time after June 30, 1985; * Had military pay reduced by $100 a month for first 12 months; * Continuously served for 3 years, OR 2 years if you entered the Selected Reserve within a year of leaving active duty and served 4 years there("2 by 4" Program).
To collect benefits based on Selected Reserve, they must have ALL of the following... * Have a six-year commitment to serve in the Selected Reserve signed after September 30, 1990; * Complete initial active duty for training (IADT); * Meet the requirement to receive a high school diploma or equivalency certificate before completing IADT. You may not use 12 hours toward a college degree to meet this requirement; * Remain in good standing while serving in an active Selected Reserve unit.
If your s-i-l was Active Duty, I suspect, that like a lot of enlistees, he did NOT elect to make the buy-in for the first 12 months of service. If he was Reserve, which I think is what you said, then he needed to have SIX years of service. Either way, it probably was not the military who "screwed it up".
Which does not bode well for a career in the military, ESPECIALLY in the Air Force. The Air Force is the most picky of the military branches, and will not enlist just a warm body. Despite the ads, there is also a moratorium on accepting enlistees for many types of AF jobs, because the slots are filled, for years ahead, due to the CAREER JOB RESERVATION Program. In addition, the AF is also extremely selective about who they choose to RE-enlistment. This I know because one of Lolo's BFF is in the AF, & also married to an AF lifer.
HOWEVER, your s-i-l MAY be eligible for the Post 9/11 G.I. Bill, which does NOT have the buy-in requirement, and requires only 90 days to 6 months of active duty for reservists to get SOME benefits. All the info is on the Veterans Affairs website. *My* s-i-l had begun the process of applying for benefits, but then he finally got a good job, which can lead to a career with this company. Things are looking up now, but Lolo & Jim had some tough times too. While Jim was never without a job, he either wasn't making good money, or he wasn't in a job that he considered a "career" -- like when he was the cable guy. In addition to struggling financially, Jim decided to go into the reserves, so he wouldn't "lose" the retirement benefits he'd acquired during his years of active duty. This made job selection more difficult, and also exposed him to other malcontented ex-active duty guys, who all hung out remembering the "good old days" & bemoaning their civilian lives. Lolo said she knew they'd finally gotten to a better place with their marriage, when he went for his duty 2 weeks ago, and instead of staying at the Holiday Inn with the rest of the guys, he drove home between the days. An hour drive EACH way, and he had to be there at 7AM. However, she says he STILL does not know what a hamper is for, or how to turn on the vaccum or load the dishwasher. But then again, neither does her DADDY.
