Parenting Issues Debate

Adriyanna Herdener, 32, and her boyfriend Wilfredo Rivera, 41,  were arrested this
week for forcing her 8 year old daughter to chew on a bar of soap, punishment for saying an obscene word.  The child had an allergic reaction to the soap,
requiring medical attention. 

"It caused the girl's mouth and throat to swell.  But they didn't provide immediate
medical care," a spokeswoman for the Palm Bay Police Department, told Florida
Today. 

The pair eventually took the child to a hospital after she continued to complain about
pain in her throat, Florida Today said. 

Police say the adults took the punishment too far, accusing them of 'malicious torture'. 

The 8 year old girl and an 18 month old have been removed from the family's home and placed in state care.

What do you think? 
Is punishing a child by making them “eat” soap a reasonable punishment?  Is it cruel? Should it be illegal?  Should a parent be charged with child abuse for doing it?  Would Tabasco (or any other hot sauce) be an acceptable choice to use?

~kelli~
cl-kellim

The first question that comes to mind is - just how squeeky clean is the parents' language at home?  Lately I've just seen too many parents of elementary school age kids fretting about where their kids learn the bad language when the answer is pretty obvious to anyone who listens to the parents for any length of time. :(

OK, back to the original question - to me, it is child abuse to make a child eat soap for swearing.  And to ignore the child's allergic reaction to the soap (which was never intended to be eaten in the first place!) is child endangerment.  Yes, the parents should be arrested and charged!  There's such an outcry about whether to spank or not to spank, and when does it become child abuse - in my opinion, making a child eat soap is a greater form of child abuse than spanking is.  Putting tabasco or other hot sauce in a child's mouth is only slightly better than soap because at least that is *intended* to be eaten.  But only *slightly* better - there are better, more effective ways of dealing with a child's potty mouth than either option... the few occasions that we had to deal with a young child who used bad language, they were sent to their room "because the rest of the family doesn't want to be around you when you use language like that."  We managed to get our 3 bio kids to adulthood with not a one of them using foul language as a matter of routine... the 4th came to us as a teenager with a horribly foul mouth, dropping the F-bomb in just about every sentance, and after a year or so of being banished from the group for his language, he cleaned it up quite a lot too.

"The first question that comes to mind is - just how squeeky clean is the parents' language at home? Lately I've just seen too many parents of elementary school age kids fretting about where their kids learn the bad language when the answer is pretty obvious to anyone who listens to the parents for any length of time. :("

Have you ever been to pick up a child from school or road a bus with more then 20 children coming home from school omg the way they speak sometimes you would think the did a tour in the navy. Children do learn a lot of things out side of the home and its unfair to say that the parents are to blame and its obvious that they had already set some type of rule against swearing or the child would not have been punished.

Me personally i live in a mostly do as a say world yes i do set proper examples but there are a lot of things i do that my children are just not allowed to do if i see them doing other wise there will be strict punishments involved. i.e i like a cup of coffee in the morning can my children wake up a pour them a cup because i drink it, i think not. This past weekend we were at a wedding i dont drink at home but i had a few drinks at the wedding if i ever even thought my children were thinking about drinking i would be livid and they would be punished.

As for the punishment yes i do think the punishment fits the crime especially if the child was given a fair warning. The only thing that is a bit disturbing is the fact that they said CHEW on a bar of soap i have heard of rinsing a child's mouth out i have even had mine rinsed out as a child but i didnt have to eat the soap but that could just be the choice of words the author used.

As for the allergic reaction that reaction could have easily happened if the child was bathing in the tub, and i dont believe they intentionally ignored the child i personally have been flagged with the my tummy hurts story from my children when something is not going there way. Just last night my 16 yes 16 year old made a mess in the kitchen and it wasnt his dish night but i told him to clean the whole kitchen and he walked out 10 min later and said my stomach hurts i want to lay down yeah right i told him he could go to bed after he was finished and after he was done he somehow felt better because he didnt go right to bed. My point is ignoring a child after they get in trouble is not uncommon and its not child abuse.

Putting tabasco or other hot sauce in a child's mouth is only slightly better than soap because at least that is *intended* to be eaten.  But only *slightly* better

There have been a couple of cases in Texas where parents put hot sauce or pepper in their mouths (I can't remember which, maybe one of each), but the children choked to death.

Like you, I oppose both the soap and hot things.

I think soap and tabasco, etc. are cruel and mean punishments, but not remove-the-child-from-the-home worthy.

However. The child had an allergic--a SERIOUS allergic reaction to the soap and they failed to seek medical attention. She could have died. Easily. And THAT is a removable offense, imo.

************

Kitty

The boys: Cyduck, Buster and Ricki

The girls: Solstice, Trini and Maisie