Father has very different approach

welcome!

next discussion >

bethbrewster

last visit to this board
Oct-23

add to friends
ignore posts

discussion title:

Father has very different approach

emoticon:

message #:

9370.1

replies:

from:

bethbrewster

date:

Oct-20 11:09 am

My husband and I are from very different backgrounds, and we have very different parenting styles. This is affecting our relationship and it certainly is affecting our kids. Last night, while he was watching sports, he got very heated and swore a few times very loudly ("what the H is up your A"). I asked him to stop, he said he'd try. Then he made our 12 year old daughter cry by telling her she was bad luck, since the game turned for the worse for his team after she entered the room. He was only joking. Then he made our 7 year old son cry by telling him that if he didn't love him so much he would kill him after he was distracting him by playing in the same room. He was only joking. When I talked to him about it he got upset with me for "scolding" him. He did apologize to our son, and reminded him that he was smiling when he said it and that had had only been joking. He just doesn't get it. He does not understand that there are things you do not say to kids. That his behavior affects us all, and it's negative. And that he should listen to me when I tell him that something he's doing is wrong instead of getting defensive. Help!

send to a friend > print > bookmark > report a violation >

bordwithyou

last visit to this board
Nov-17

add to friends
ignore posts

discussion title:

Father has very different approach

emoticon:

message #:

9370.2 in response to 9370.1

replies:

from:

bordwithyou

to:

bethbrewster

date:

Oct-20 12:07 pm

How long has this been going on? What your husband is doing isn't wrong if the kids understand he's joking, but if it's making your daughter cry, she doesn't get the joke. If your kids were 1 and 3, I'd say to you to just lighten up, but it's obviously affected the whole family for awhile now.

send to a friend > print > bookmark > report a violation >

izzyandalexsmommy

last visit to this board
Nov-23

messages posted
this board
228

add to friends
ignore posts

discussion title:

Father has very different approach

emoticon:

message #:

9370.3 in response to 9370.2

replies:

from:

izzyandalexsmommy

to:

bordwithyou

date:

Oct-20 1:02 pm

I dont. Maybe Im an isolated individual. But that type of behavior from a parent is just not something I would consider acceptable.

I was at my son's football game yesterday. The 11 yo boy sitting a few feet away got to endure 90 minutes of both his parents berating him through out the game. Of course they took on a joking demeanor. But it was obvious the boy was not enjoying the constant comments, and his parents just kept telling him to get over it. He eventually came over to play with my 2 and 3 yo DS' and my 9 yo DD. He asked DD if we (as in her parents) ever joked with her and she said "not like yours". He just shook his head and they all continued to play. Once the game was over he said "thanks for letting me play" and left.

I felt bad for the kid. His parents found great enjoyment in making him feel like poo.

send to a friend > print > bookmark > report a violation >

bordwithyou

last visit to this board
Nov-17

add to friends
ignore posts

discussion title:

Father has very different approach

emoticon:

message #:

9370.4 in response to 9370.3

replies:

from:

bordwithyou

to:

izzyandalexsmommy

date:

Oct-20 1:33 pm

I see a great deal of difference in "90 minutes of constant berating" and a parent watching a game jokingly suggesting that maybe the kid was bad luck if she came into the room just as the tide of the game turned. That's something one of us might say to any one of the other of us, and it would be a joke, and accepted as such.