Sleep Training

hi all

this is not for me - my friend is going to sleep train her 14mos twins this weekend after the time change. they sleep very little at night and their naps are touch and go; if they've had a bad night, they will nap ok for their first nap but 2nd nap either they'll skip it (or one of them will) or will nap short or if one is sleeping, the other will wake them up.

currently they are not on any type of schedule or routine and do not know how to put themselves to sleep. what ends up happening during night wakings is they will either end up in my friend's bed or she will lie with them on the mattress on the floor in their room.

while i can advise her how to sleep train (she is going to use extinction and separate them because they are keeping each other up), i don't really know what to tell her about establishing a nap/night routine since i don't have twins. i have suggested some things but since she is on her own most of the time (esp at night - her DH works late) it's kind of hard for her to do bath, feed, bottle and bed for them at the same time. she finds that her daughter can stand more wake time than her son so i advised to do the routine in her son's room for both of them, then when routine is over, change his diaper, put him in the crib and leave. then take her daughter to her room and do the same thing.

so if you have experience with twins or know someone who has and has a good nap/night routine going, can you please let me know so i can tell her and she can try it? she's prepping for ST this weekend and we're going over a ST plan together.

any advice/suggestion are appreciated!

TIA!

My friend from my IV playgroup who has twins used to put them to bed separately, I believe. She also gave them their own rooms. One of them was a better sleeper than the other!

I think doing different bedtimes is a good idea. It might work out that their schedules are 30 minutes shifted from each other... then maybe a little alone time with each one?

I don't have anything more to add, I have no experience with twins. At 14 mos., though, I'd definitely do ST and put them on a schedule! I don't know how she's done without it for so long. Good luck! :)

I have 11 month old twins. I can't believe she left it to 14 months. My twins were ST by 7 months and I started at about 4 months. I definetly takes longer to ST twins, your're dealing with two separate sleep habits and cycles. Tell your friend that she should definetly give them separate bedrooms - mine are in the same bedroom, but they sleep through each other crying because they have since birth. But again, separate bedrooms, and I would suggest putting them down at the same time. Do their bath together (it's difficult, but doable.) I bathe mine alone alot. Then do whatever routine she wants. Mine is bath, bottle and straight into bed. Then really, she's just going to have to let them CIO. I found that's the only way to do it when you have twins - for me anyway. If I tried to go into their room for the one that was fussing, the other one would sstart freaking out. For their night wakings - let them CIO.

Naps, I don't have alot to say about naps, mine still are not great. My daughter usually has good naps, but my son is not a great napper. That's just a part of my life that I've accepted. But they do have ok naps. Most days, it works out if I put them down at the same time, but some days that just doesnt' work and I deal with it accordingly.

The biggest piece of advice I got from one of my best friends who has twins that are 4 years older than mine is SCHEDULE. I am absolutely set in stone with my twins and their schedule. Not neccasarily scheduling by the clock (except for bedtime - I'm adamant about bedtime schedule), but when one is starting to show tired signs for naps, I rock them both and make sure they both go into their cribs.

GL

thanks for your input.. i've fwd this to my friend.

one question: how do you feed both at the same time? are you holding one and the other is in some kind of rocker or swing holding a bottle (or are you nursing at the same time)? i think she's trying to figure out how to feed them at the same time (they're both able to hold their own bottles)

TIA!