Teachers' Circle

How's the language in your staff lounge? In my school each team (I'm in a MS) has their own lounge. There's a teachers' cafe but, that is usually used only for staff breakfasts or celebrations. The team I'm on has quite the potty mouth and I find it kind of off putting. I'm no prude and can swear a blue streak and will swear among my friends but, I think it's kind of tacky to speak that way at work. Am I getting to be an old lady? And the thing is most of the people on my team are not young. The worst offenders are around 60. We even have a guy who used to teach shop but now teaches computers who makes lots of off color jokes which I find down right creepy. We were looking at some test scores from the state and we had to share a sheet and he said to me "I don't know if I can control myself." I'm pretty sure he meant something sexual by that. I know he was only kidding but I think it's really inappropriate. The band teacher spilled some water down her shirt last week and he said "Can I help you wipe that up?" To me he's teetering right on the edge of what could be construed as an hostile work environment.

What are your opinions about this and have you experienced anything similar?

I've been in a situation, in a HS, where there were a few things said occasionally, but no one that was consistently off color or out of line with a specific person. I've never been in a day to day unconfortable situation.  Well, not with a co-worker. I did have a touchy-feely principal, but I just learned to keep away from him.

I think you have to ignore it and avoid it. Don't laugh, don't overreact, and stay out of the lounge as much as you can.  I don't think asking an administrator to intervene or even speaking to them individually, especially the women,  would help. These people have had this behavior for a while. They probably wouldn't understand why it bothers you and you'd end up being the bad guy.

Depending on the situation I might consider giving it it back with a put down. If the guy said he could control himself, I might respond, "With you I can definitley not have to worry about having to control myself,"  or something like, "I'll make it easy for you," and then walk away.  This would make the point that you're not playing the funny game with him and his sense of humor. If the guy keeps pushing the line that would be a reason to talk to an administrator. Just be sure you have your info organized and someone to back you up if possible. Don't let them label you as someone who's blowing things out of proportion.

Sherry

Does your state/district have annual anti-harassment training? It is state law here - every year! I can't imagine anyone on our staff talking like this to another employee anywhere, let alone in the staff lounge! We don't have a lot of older male teachers, though, and the ones we do have are not slimy like yours sound!

If I were you, I might print off this page:http://www.eeoc.gov/types/sexual_harassment.html and put it in his (their) box - anonymously. If he has any sensitivity, he might guess that his behavior is bothering someone, and curb it. Doubtful, because if he would pick up on it that easily, he would probably be perceptive enough to realize it in the first place. In any case, I don't think that would hurt.

If Mr. "I'll get that for you" says stuff like that all the time, then it would definitely be considered a hostile work environment.