Troubled Teens

I just love the attitude.

A was released from jail on an alternative work program. I took him over yesterday for his appointment and since we were in the same building he checked in with his PO. He tells me what his work assignment is then comments that they better not work him the 8 hours. He also comments on the length of time he has to work there. He started today and the schedule goes it December. I looked at the schedule and notice he *works* Monday thru Friday with weekends off and he needs to be there at 7AM. This kid has never worked, never had a job so this is a new experience for him. I commented to him that this is what real life is like. He tells me he may end up back in jail to finish his time because it is *easier* to sit on his butt and not do anything. His other comment is that he is not getting paid for doing this work. AH, yes he is, may be not in the form of money. He is getting some work experience and time OUT of jail.

When I picked A up last night to come home I commented on having to go to the store to get stuff for him to make lunch to take with him. In his paperwork it tells him what he needs to bring with him which includes a lunch. He informed me that he is NOT taking a lunch like some *bad word* elementary kid. That was his choice so, he got up this morning, had 2 of his coconut bars on the way there and did not take a lunch with him, nor does he have money to buy anything if he were given the chance.

We shall see how long he last at this and if his attitude changes.

Barb  

I'm sorry but I had to laugh at the lunch thing. Can you GET any more oppositional than going hungry to avoid following a suggestion?

Is he back with you?

Pat,

I'd laugh too, it was all on him for not having anything to eat. I told him that I take a lunch to work with me. I just love his attitude about things.

I picked him up after he was finished with his AWP today, first day on the *job*. He commented that he may turn himself back in to jail. He has a heat rash on his leg and his feet and legs hurt. He did his first real day of work. He has been walking around while hanging out with his friends and his legs and feet hurt. He is a *big boy* and is not used to walking around. Basically, he is lazy. I had to stop at the store on the way home today and left him in the car. He was dirty and doesn't like being dirty. When I got back to the car he was looking at the info on Job Corps and asked if my friend still had the track phone that she once offered him. I asked him if he was going to give the program a chance. He told me he doesn't know. 

He is only back with me for a few days. He was released Tuesday, had his appt for the AWP yesterday then today was his first day of work. I had him come home for the first night, had already decided he would come home for the first night upon his release since he went in wearing a tshirt, sweat pants and flop shoes. We were not expecting him to get out til November so he would have needed to get a change of clothes. And he didn't expect to be released til late night after the shelters closed their doors. I noticed on his release papers he listed me as the person who could confirm his whereabouts. I told him last night he needed to pack some clothes up to take with him, implying he was not coming back here. His response was that he wasn't going to carry around his clothes while there. He won't have a choice tomorrow as I work and won't be home to pick him up. I have been sneaking him in since the park managers and owners have said he is not welcome here. I live in a mobile home park. They feel he is violent and out of control. He stuffs his emotions/anger until he explodes. He exploded the day I had him arrested and I was told he was not welcome here anymore. Yes he has a temper and yes he needs to learn to channel his anger better, but I don't feel him to be a threat to me.

Yes he is probably using me. He doesn't have anywhere else to go, will be on the street/in a shelter by the weekend. One day he will grow up and realize that I did stand by him. He may never say anything, never thank me but he will know someone did care about him. Fostering is sometimes a thankless job.

So for now he is home but not for long. We shall see where he decides to take his life. It is his life and his decision.

God bless, Barb 

I guess he must have gotten hungry yesterday because he made a lunch today. I asked him last night what time he needed to be there and what time he wanted to get up. He didn't need to be there til 7:30am so I commented that he would have time to get something to eat and make a lunch. Since he wasn't happy with me last night he really didn't answer me as to when to get him up. I got him up this morning about 6. (his room does not have an alarm clock) After getting dress I noticed he was in the kitchen making himself a lunch. He also ate breakfast today too. When I got him to the job site we had missed the guy and he was marked a *no show*. There was road construction on the main road going there and we got stuck in traffic, so he ended up not going to work today. Took him over to reschedule his work day then came home. We are heading out the door soon as I have to work today.

God bless, Barb

oh for heaven's sake, Barb...this kid needs to see what bottom feels like!  You knew he had to be there by seven, but you still asked him what time?  He told you a lie...to get out of work...and that worked out great for him!  He doesn't have an alarm clock?  Why would he if you are going to do that for him?  He knows it, too!  You gotta kick his butt out on the street or he's just gonna lay around your house. That's not helping him...that's called enabling...and we don't wanna do that.  You seem to have a lot of excuses for his behavior and so does he.  Believe me...I have been there, done that and know better than you think, just how hard this is for you!  I have cried my eyes out and doubted myself over and over again, but I know for sure and for certain that nothing will change unless you do first!  He will change, if he has to! 

Barb, you know I don't want to sound like I am lecturing and I'm sure it does sound that way...and I'm sorry for that.  Sometimes it takes the harsh reality to help us open our eyes.

Hugs and prayers for strength,

Deanna