Hey Rebecca! I just thought I would drop in and see if you were still here. My ds was diagnosed as bipolar but we can't get him to take his medicine. He is still at home and doing fairly well right now but who knows how long that will last.
I am glad to hear B is doing well especially since they remind me so much of each other.
It's a good thing that your son has a diagnosis, and at least ya'll know where to begin. Have you thought about making him take his meds as a requirement to stay with you?
Right now, things are going ok... but you might want to consider that later down the line.
I'm still keeping my fingers crossed about B. Hopefully, he really does see this as an opportunity and won't let it go by doing something dumb! He is working hard, even though being a bailbondsman might not seem that difficult... he has so much paperwork, on call 24/7 (which doesn't allow alot of time for partying with alcohol and/or drugs). And plus, he remembers that his aunt was arrested at the county jail for showing up drunk to bail someone out. When we've gone for lunch, he gets a minimum of 5 phone calls per lunch. It's never ending, and he's pretty stressed, but I think he's going to be ok.
Remember, you're still welcome to e-mail me anytime. I miss ya!
Well, A finally landed himself in prison. I didn't want to be the one who sent him there but was left with no choice.
He was released in Sept. from County for the Alternative work program which he blew off. Since I couldn't have him staying here he was on the street or staying at friend's houses(friends were 15-17yos). I'd bring him home from time to time to get fresh clothes, a shower, to eat and sleep. He was only here while I was so I could actually supervise what was happening to make sure he wasn't causing problems where I live.
In mid Oct he was telling me he was going to turn himself in to go back to jail and finish out his sentence. I should have done what I was thinking of doing but I didn't. I had thought of just taking his butt down and turning him in myself. I guess I wanted him to be the adult he tells me he is and for him to do the right thing. Well, the morning he was telling me he was turning himself in I was in the shower getting ready for my day and came out to find him missing. Missing along with him were my car, my laptop, 2 cell phones(personal and work) and about 100+ DVD movies. (yes I was warned and didn't heed that warning) I got my car back the next night. He allowed his friends to graffiti the inside of it and there was some damage to the front right fender. He was arrested the same night my car was located. That in itself was surreal. My brother spotted the car about the time the police were in the area looking for it. A's PO had sent a Det from Auto theft out to look for it. It was found about 5 blocks from my Mom's house, around the corner from one of his friend's house. While my brother and I were calling the police, A and his friend were walking down the main street(we were on a side street). My sister and nephew followed him and flagged down a police car who was coming to check out a stolen vehicle. She told the officer that the person wanted in connection with that stolen vehicle was right there. He was picked up and brought over to where the car was. I have not talked to him although I have sent him a letter. I chose not to go to the arraignment but did attend the pre trial hearing. He plead guilty and got a sentence of 32 months in prison. He was also hit with a second strike, which is why he got prison time. I was told he got off easy since he could have been sentenced to 5-8yrs. I'm hoping that this will be the wake up call that he needs, that he will see this is not where he wants to spend the rest of his life. I realize I may be hoping for a miracle here but I have talked to people who have turned their lives around after some time in jail/prison.
I am torn as to what I want to do with him. My heart is still involved. He is not my son yet I still think of him that way. He is not a child yet he is not functioning at an adult level either. I am struggling with what message I want to send him. Do I want to be yet another adult who walks out of his life or do I want to stick around and hold him accountable for what he has done? While I am not his parent, how would I handle this if I were his parent. And as a parent, what do I want to teach him, what is it that I want him to learn?
Wow, B is a bail bondsmen. Who'd have thought? How is he feeling?
Hola everyone! I wish when you hit reply all, it shows all the posts that came before you! Sorry I haven't been around. Life has been crazy but good and I guess I just didn't want to jinx things. I have stopped by from time to time and I send up a prayer after getting caught up with what's happening with everyone's kiddos. I am so saddened, auntjo, that A is in jail. And Rebecca, I am horrified that those creepy people are still around and that your H totally blew B off with the job! I am thankful, however, that B is working. So many of the stories here resonate with me, whether in regards to my own dd or her many friends who seem to struggle on their way to adulthood. If only we could shake them and tell them that 'this too shall pass' and that HS isn't everything - life is short, it's true, but they are only just beginning! Ugh.
Well, my now 20dd is still seeing her 28 year old bf with the TWO kids, 7 and 5, though she still hasn't met them. Apparently, the exgf of the bf is a psycho and she doesn't feel the need to add any more drama to her life - that's a switch, huh? The bf is a nice guy, though I do think he's a dead end for dd but I'm not saying a word - let her figure it out on her own. She wouldn't listen anyway and right now there is no harm being done. She's not drinking or drugging and all her friends are clean for the most part...they are actually nerdy, like little wanna-be badasses. LOL!! Other than that, she's holding her own working PT as a secretary at a small office, mainly by herself. She recently blew the whistle on her loser manager and now has a new manager. He was speaking to her inappropriately and making lewd comments and blaming her for all of his mistakes to the upper management. Yeah, no great loss there, lol. She's doing well, trying to find either another PT job or get more hours where she is.
My now 22dd (her bday was Tuesday!) is back in school at a local community college going for education while working full time as a nursery school teacher. She ultimately wants to be a Home Ec teacher, which is now called Family Consumer Sciences. Baahaaa. She's still with her bf, whom we like, but we have some concerns about him. He is a little dim when it comes to how women should be able to live and think for themselves and he's a bit jealous, though he's better than he was. He's also back in school, which we're all happy about. I keep my eye on this situation as he was raised in a very old fashioned, antiquated home. I don't Christian's in general, but I think his parents may have interpreted the bible a little wrong...too long to explain, but I'm sure you get the gist. 22dd is getting over a strain of the swine flu and is expected to make a good recovery, though her immune system is a mess, so says our Dr, and she needs to really start taking care of herself, as she works in a daycare setting!!! Keeing my fingers crossed that she gets it together and begins taking better care of her health.
My H and I are doing okay, still struggling a bit in some areas, though we're working on it. I was just asking a friend of mine if it's worth it for H to come with me to counseling since he basically is just giving both me and the therapist lip service - IOW, he's not really putting into practice anything that will help him look within and change the way he copes on a day to day basis. He's been sober for almost 3 years, which YAY, I'm so happy about. However, he still hasn't come up with any new healthy coping skills and that's what it's all about with us. So, more as things develop...hahah.
I am going back to school come January! I have registered with a local CC (same one 22dd goes to!) and will have my associates after taking only 10 classes. Then I can transfer to a state college to get my bachelors. The best part is the company I work for is paying for it! Anyway, I am excited and nervous at the same time. The last time I went back to college I was at a private women's college and it was easy to remain anonymous. This CC is where many of the local kids go and I hate the thought of sitting in classes with those little dorks. Hahaha. Anyway, wish me luck!
You're all in my daily thoughts and prayers - hope things all even out for everyone. xo
