Woman to Woman

The biggest area that dh and I differ is in books and movies. He hates to read - I can't live without it, and he doesn't care for most movies and I love movies.  So we compromise - I don't fault him for the fact that he's read about 2 books voluntarily in his life (though I have said he shouldn't sound so proud of that fact, lol) and I have gotten used to going to movies alone.  He does't complain about the books and DVDs I get, or if I'm occasionally at a movie when he gets home from work.   I should mention, he does see some movies with me, like Star Trek and the newest Indiana Jones movie, but for the most part, he doesn't care to go. And he sees no sense at all when I buy a movie I've already seen and watch it several times, lol.  But he doesn't complain.

But we agree, mostly, on where we go on vacations, although I'd like to go on a lot more vacations than he wants to go on, lol. And he's not into going back to places. We saw NYC a few years ago and I'd love to go back and spend more time there than we could the first time, but he's not interested in things like the museums and plays I'd like to see. So we probably won't ever go back.
But we do differ on the subject of comping. His idea of a good time is going to the Northwoods of WI and camping, fishing, hiking - things I really don't care to, or can't, do.  So I send him off twice a year (don't let him tell you I push him out the door and dance when he's gone, lol); enjoy a few days of me time, then welcome him home or, sometimes, drive up there for a couple days.

As for your situation, I'd tell him you'll alternate vacations with him and then make the plans. I'd figure, if he would agree to a mountain cabin, I'd manage a trip to Vegas or a cruise.

But I do wonder - if he doesn't like crowds, why would he want to go to Vegas? I have anxiety issues with crowds, too, and just thinking of the mobs of people there would be in Vegas is enough to make me hesitate to go.

But as for a cruise - especially one to Alaska - I'm with your dh! I'd go in a heartbeat! I'd also jump at the chance to go to Ireland or Scotland or anywhere overseas!!!  But I have to get past my dh's complaints about the cost of vacations like that - even though I know he'd love to go to Ireland.

But don't get me started on our differing views on money and what it's for, lol! 

I can't believe it...DH ACTUALLY ENJOYED HIMSELF AT THE PARK THIS WEEKEND!!!  LOL

He didn't mind a couple of the "hikes" (more like leisurely walks on well-worn trails) and liked canoeing so much he wants to go back and do the longer trip (10 mi, rather than 4).  We agreed on the mini-golf, too, but I hate to spend "vacation time" doing that when we could easily do it at home...but, of course, we don't <sigh>

We were talking about this again tonight - he'd like to go to the Bahamas.  I suppose I could tolerate that, even though there'd be PEOPLE there <sigh>  HE doesn't see it as being possible, though.  *I* said it's definitely doable, but we'd need to change our spending habits and would have to save up (something he's not a fan of - instant gratification seems to be key  LOL)

Another difficulty with many of these places he'd like to see - he doesn't want to fly! 

Ann, you & your dh sound just me & mine----on books & movies!   He doesn't read for pleasure, I believe the ONE book series he has read (maybe more than once) in his lifetime is the Lord of the Rings series & The Hobbit.   He rarely goes to movies with me, and if we ARE going together, or going to watch one at home,  I can pick one that I know he will like, because I know what he doesn't like!  He also doesn't get why I need to own some books &  movies that I"ve already read/seen!!!

There's been a colleague at work that he's been butting heads with, and as he's telling me all about it, I'm starting to giggle.   I told him:  'you two are EXACTLY alike, that's why you're clashing, you're both hard-headed!"  It's my theory that we seek someone who's NOT like us......I know that's why WE get along, we're total opposites...