I am new to this board but have been relying on ivillage message boards for support since I joined the TTC after loss board about 2 years ago. Happily, I am now the mom of a cheerful and curious 9 month old son. I am also a high school teacher.
Ryan was born in February and I was lucky not to go back to work until August. However, I am so stressed out, overwhelmed, and emotionally weak now that I have returned. This year, I have three differnt classes I teach during the day (most teachers at my school have two) and one is new, so that makes me super busy. After Ryan goes to bed, I work until about 10:30, go to sleep and get up at 5:15, so I am exhausted. I am also pumping, so that takes up a lot of my free periods at work.
Along with being stressed and exhausted, I am so sad about not being home with RYan. I feel like I am missing out on so much since I only see him about 2 hours a day during the week. There is a teacher at day care who adores him, and while I'm happy that someone cares so much for him, I am jealous that she gets to play with him, read to him, cuddle with him all day long while I deal with rude and ungrateful high school kids.
Thanks for reading this far, if you've made it. I'm having about one crying break down a day right now and just need some support from people who understand. I have to at least finish out this year, so quitting isn't an option.
Penny is almost 9 months and I teach HS too! I see her about 2.5 hours a day. By the time I get to daycare to pick her up, it's 4pm and she's ready for bed by 6:30.
I wish I could offer advice, but I don't really know what to say. Is there any way you could cut back on your classes some? Not necessarily the amount, but every once in a while do a "Fun Friday" where you play Bingo or something else relaxing for everyone that doesn't require grading? About once every 4 or 5 weeks, I will go to www.puzzlemaker.com and make a crossword with the week's vocabulary and let them spend the day working on that. While it's relevant to the unit, it's nothing that requires a lot of brainpower from any of us. You might also designate one day as a "No School" day. For instance, Saturdays are a day for family. Don't do any school work -- planning, grading, griping, etc. GL!
Hi--I just wanted to let you know that I completely understand how you are feeling. I went back to work when my daughter was 10 months old and put her in daycare full time. I was a wreck. I would cry all the time, was exhausted, drained and resentful that I couldn't stay home with her. I would get sad the second I left her at daycare in the morning. Then she was exhausted and cranky at night by the time I picked her up. Also, last winter she was sick with colds, ear infections and fevers just about every week. I felt horrible.
The good news is that it does get easier. Here I am 10 months later and able to say that it gets better. While I don't have any great advice, I would just say to try to be as organized as possible (ie-lay out your clothes at night, put bags in the car at night for the next morning, prepare meals ahead of time, etc.) Also, I've found that you have to be happy with your daycare because that makes things a lot less stressful. I wasn't too fond of her first daycare, so on top of leaving her, I always felt guilty/worried if that was the best place for her. Now that she is in a great daycare I really don't have any worries once I drop her off. I know she loves it there.
It took me a good 4 months before I accepted the fact that this was my new life. It was not an option for me to be home with her. I also began to realize that most other moms were going through the same thing. Not many people can afford to stay home with their kids anymore. For some reason I thought that just because my mom stayed home with me and my 3 siblings that I would get to do the same. "You can't always get what you want," as the song goes.... One thing I have learned is to not think about how busy I am or how much I have to get done. It only makes things worse. Try to think about what a great job you're doing and how your child will respect you for all you did to support him when he is older.
As your son gets older he'll be more active and he'll enjoy daycare a lot more too. He'll want to play with the other kids, interact, make things, etc. You'll see that he actually enjoys it more than you think.
Best of luck to you. Hang in there and try to stay positive. Enjoy the time you do have with your little one and accentuate the postive.
With my 1st, I was able to get a decent daycare (starting at 4 mos.) adjacent to my workplace, so I spent my commute on the train with him and visited him at lunchtime daily. That helped, but I realize it's not easily available. With my younger child I also went back to work at 4 mos, but couldn't arrange such a sweet deal. He's home with a nanny. However, it's easier the second time around. I keep lots of photos with me during the day, and check in by phone periodically. If you are the one holding him if he wakes at night, and the one whose smell and voice are familiar from birth, he'll be bonded to you just fine.
