Working Moms

My husband and I are going to start trying to have a baby.  I had always thought that I would be a stay at home mom, but we crunched the numbers and there's no way we can afford it.

Basically, I feel worried that my baby won't feel as connected to me as it would have if I were able to stay home. I'm also worried that my baby will be at a disadvantage for having to go into daycare.

Did you have these same fears? How did it work out for you? Do you feel like you still are able to have a strong bond with your baby even if you work full-time? I would appreciate any words of wisdom you can share!

I went back to work because I am not interested in being a SAHM. However, we planned our baby for over a year before she was born. I teach HS so we realized if she was born in February, I could have 5 good months before I had to go back in August (3 months maternity leave + summer vacation). Since we knew this was coming so far in advance, I saved about 4 months' salary to live on. This helped a lot during my leave, and we never felt constrained. Even if you can't save that much, every little bit will help.

As for emotional ties with DD, I don't feel that there's anything wrong. In fact, it's awesome going to pick her up. I flee the classroom as soon as the clock strikes 3, and when I get to the daycare she just lights up--EVERY DAY! As soon as I walk in that room, she starts grinning like a fool and bouncing up and down. :p It's a wonderful feeling. Even the daycare teachers have commented on how excited she gets when she sees me or DH.

I actually believe in her case, daycare will be advantageous for her. We live in a very small community but DH and I both work outside the town, so we don't know any of the locals. By her going to this daycare, she will make friends now that she will go through school with until they graduate. The only thing I wish I had known about daycare is how sick they get. DD has been sick for the better part of 12 weeks -- stomach bug, ear infections, colds, etc. Now when I mention this to people, everyone tells me "Oh yeah, my kid was sick for 6/8/9 months before immunity set in." She has been fairly healthy this week (knock on wood), so maybe she's starting to build some immunity.

This is just my experience. Since I knew I wanted to return to work, I obviously can't empathize with all your fears. I will tell you that about 2.5 weeks before returning to work though, I cried every day several times a day because I didn't want to leave her. Even I had trouble trusting another to care for MY baby. I hope this rambling helps. GL!

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Here's a couple more things I thought of:

I don't know about every day care, but ours has no problem with us calling any time of day to ask what's happening with Penny. A lot of day cares (not ours unfortunately) have video cameras in the rooms so you can get online and look at what's happening at any time.

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