In honor of some very special new members {{{^Stuart Little^ and ^Barkley's^ Moms}}} this weeks QOTW is:
When will the pain and grief end? How long does it take before you can start remembering the good, without being overwhelmed by the bad memories?
Please try to be as open as possible. Was there a certain amount of time when you weren't consumed with grief? A week, a month, a year?
There really wasn't a specific amount of time that passed after losing ^Whisper^, when I began to feel better. It was very gradual. For the first 3 or so months - I was lost. I couldn't even say his name out loud without bursting into tears. After about 6 months - I stopped crying as often. (But, I was still unable to talk about it - with anyone.) I think I had to get through an entire year, before I could get through a day without crying. But, of course, everything reminded me of ^Whisp^ - so I had to re-experience all events, without him. (New Years, Valentines Day, Easter, his birthday, his ^WingDay^, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas was the worst.) Once I got throught that - I think I can honestly say - I was beginning to heal.
As you can probably tell, I needed lots of time. ^Whisper^ was a part of me, (the best part) he was my heart, my soul. I had to re-learn who I was again, without him (physically) by my side....
Thank you Lin - for your story, and your compassion. I can't express what it means to hear other Bridgemom's stories and hear that it is going to be okay eventually and that I am not losing my mind. I just want some ideas on how to handle the awful grief and sorrow so - this question means a lot to me!!!!
-Tiffany Love
Current Proud Mom of : puppy Charger and kittens/cats Abra, Kadabra, Grizabella, and Gypsy
*FOREVER & ALWAYS a Proud Mom of precious ^Stuart Little^ : 12/26/1999 - 09/05/2009*
"If Love Could've Saved You, You Would've Lived Forever"
Today I would have to say never.... Tomorrow or the next I'll feel better...for how long who's to say... could be, a day, a week. But the pain still comes back still hurts.
"It came to me that every time I lose a dog (pet) they take a piece of my heart with them. And every new dog (pet) who comes into my life, gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough, all the components of my heart will be dog (cat,horse,etc.), and I will become as generous and loving as they are." ~ Unknown He is your friend, your partner,your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart.You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them. ~Phil Pastoret Without humor, life sucks. Without courage, life is hard. Without love, life is hopeless. Without friends like you, life is impossible!
{{{^Stuart Little's^ Mom}}} If it helps, our little Heaven on Earth has a Home Page, where you'll find lots of helpful things. There is a link at the very top of the board (member website) or click here: http://bridgemom.tripod.com/PetBreavementHomePage.index.html
Besides the stories my ^Whisper^ sent me, like "Whisper's 1st WingDay", "The Little Ones", and "Bridgekiss 101", I especially like the "Story of the Dragonfly". Also, if you click on the "Member Tributes" link, you will be able to read some absolutely beautiful poems our BridgeMoms have created. (I may be a little partial.... *smile* .... but my favorites are the ones written by our very own cl-mosmomcarol.)
Maybe while we're waiting for replies... these links will help your shattered heart. You are not alone Tiffany, {{{gentle hugs}}} and your precious ^Stuart^ has lots of company too.....
, ^Whisper^ & ^Wonder's^ Mom
