I know this is the hardest decision you have to make. In some way you feel you are betraying him because you know what is 'planned' to happen whilst he is oblivious to it all. I felt exactly the same way with my little girl, I would speak to her the days before, saying she'd be OK and I wouldn't let anything bad happen to her, knowing that after the weekend I would be taking her in to be euthanased. I'm sure you are enacting in your mind the whole process and how on earth are you going to cope? I can't say its easy for us, but for your Moose it will be the kindest, peaceful and most selfless thing you could possibly do for him, even though it is at the cost of your own suffering. If you can, try so hard to make the most of the time left. I spent a whole weekend with my girl before that day, it tore me to shreds but I hid my sadness from her as I knew my tears confused her. Now I'm so glad for finding that strength, it’s been a month since we lost her but I saved my tears till she had gone. I was glad to have made those last days as dear as I could for her and that she could be at peace with warm and happy memories fresh in her mind as she dropped off to sleep.
I truly feel for you, sadly the reality is often these decisions are taken out of our hands, it is their illness that makes the decision for us. I hope you can find the strength to be with him now when he needs you the most. When the time comes, we are here when you need us the most too.
My love and thoughts are with you and your beautiful Moose.
