Life in Our 30s

...actually, things with DD17 are getting worse in some ways.  One way is that she is trying to come between D and I.  Another thing is that she and her Mom are in cahoots against D. 

As for coming between D and I, I won't let that happen even if this means not spending as much time with him as I'd like.  Sometimes a man just has to sort out his house and get it back in order and that means his children as well.  DD17 is just being down right nasty to me-making rude comments-ignoring me, etc.  And she is always interjecting herself in things that D and I do. 

As for being in cahoots with her Mom - this is not the way we were all hoping this relationship would turn.  DD17 and D's X seem to have planned out a plan of attack.  They think DD17 should be able to start getting her privileges back.  Cell phone, TV in her bedroom, iPod touch, Internet, driving lic., etc.  But seriously the only thing she has been better about is not fussing at her sister as much and it's only a little better. I really belive she is still in contact with this guy - they said they would stop - but she is asking her friends at school to use their cell phones, so...   D's X asked for the three of them to meet and work this all out.  D said no.

DD17 is so hard hearted about all of this.  When I asked her why she doesn't want to live at home she says "I just don't want to".  She so wants to be treated like an adult, but she's not acting like one at all.  She doesn't pick up after herself, do the one chore (clean the cat box once a day) very often without being told, keep her 1/2 of the bathroom clean, etc.  She won't talk to you unless you are saying something she wants to hear.

I've decided that I won't let her speak to me this nasty any more and D said I can tell her that I don't like it and that I don't think she deserves her father.  The opportunity will come eventually.  Now I just have to keep my nerve!!! :0)

I think I've said to  myself "be patient" a million times today!!!!!!!!!! :0)

Thanks for letting me vent!!!

                      

   

                   

ick!!!! kristie!! i was hoping things wouldnt go this way for you all.. and i dont like the bit about being doubleteamed by mom and daughter... stay the H*** out of my life is what that mom would be hearing from my lips...  but you cant do that.. so i will do it for you if you like...   oh i wish there was something more i could do for you other than write boring novels of debbie's life,

  but in the thinking about what to say to you ... i told you how i did the same thing basically as your step girl is pulling,  only difference was my parents were still married.. when debbie @ 17 suddenly knew all the answers to all the problems of it... knew it was right and meant to be with  older guy... after all he was older so more experinced in the world than i was(baloney),  but after so much torture and anger my parents  in a final ditch effort.. mustve said to themselves.."well if she thinks its so easy out there on her own.. then let her go" and soon she will figure out that real fact that we might know something about what we yell at her for... and well i didnt at first,.. because i left them and moved in with david and his parents (who god bless them took awesome care of me and never interferred if they thought i was doing something wrong(maybe they shouldve), 

what i do know is how determined i was at proving mom and dad wrong.. that i could take care of myself.. pay my own bills... eat.. bathe.. all without mommy and daddy.... which i/we did do... but what a brutual reality it was to watch that 40 hour work week being handed over to the apt complex for rent.. then there was electricity.. food... gas for the car... leaving us more times than not with a spare 20 bucks to live on until pay day came back around... and that was back in like 1991,1992,1993    i know that the apt i moved into after david died cost me like 580>00 a month WITH THE DISCOUNT fact that i happened to work in westminster right up the street from them @ b.b.(if you happen to want to move in there and you are lucky enough to work in westminster they give you  like a 20% break on your rented apt... and my place was a small one bedroom... with very few frills.. except it did have a fireplace(LOL) lived there 2 years and never used the freaking thing.. but anyway... i droll on and on...   maybe you should give the girl my email address and i will bore her into tears aboutmy life and how much it does suck to go it alone..

Thanks for listening Deb.  D's DD17 isn't really listening to anyone.  Last night D was surprised when DD17 asked to stay the night at my house.  She knows Dad won't let her stay home alone unless her little sister is there and since D really had to be into work early this morning and DD17's school starts 45 mintues later on Wednesdays, she thought my house was better than Gma's.  So D asked me to talk to her.  He wanted DD17 to ask me and for me to ask her why she wants to stay because basically I get the impression that she doesn't like me.  I got out 2-3 sentences and I got back an OK and then she just handed the phone to her Dad while I was talking.  After all is said and done, D's expectations for all of that was so that he could get a chance to talk to her.  And he did - so that is good.  I have a lot of thoughts going through my head about how this all happened last night, but I haven't sorted through them all and I'm not sure that they matter, so..........

Anyway.  I think I just need some time to cool off.  I wish it wasn't dinner night at my house tonight!!!

                      

   

                   

Oh great - I get to wait 15 years?!?!?!  My patience won't make it!!!!

We always have dinner at my house Wednesday night and I didn't want to change my life because DD17 is being all whatever.  It went okay.  Nothing great.  There were good and bad points.  Bad points - she never took her coat off the entire time she was at my house and an hour after they got there she asked if they could leave.  Good points - she actually ate dinner and it was something she doesn't like (Stew-and it has vegatables in it) she took her dish to the kitchen when she was done eating, and she said thank you for dinner. 

So she did enough to get by with her Dad.  This whole thing is a pain in the you know what!  I'm trying to see the good stuff, but she makes it hard!