Betrayed Spouses Support

D-Day for me was about 4 months ago when I found out that my wife of less than 1 year flew off to another state with a man that she confesses to have met only 1 month prior to spend the weekend with. Needless to say... I was crushed! We imediately agreed to work it out and she was devastated that I found out and went to peices when I told her I was done with her initially. We have  been going to counselling and it took her over two months to come clean on all of the details but she has been working her a@@ off to make this up to me and I do truly still love her but I continue to have the unrelenting desire to pay her back by having an affair of my own. I know that I read over and over on these boards that it is the worst thing that a betrayed spouse to do but I do not think that I will really be able to move on unless I do this. Maybe it is the male pride in me but it haunts me daily.

Does anyone else feel like this? Maybe there should just be a forum on here where betrayed men and women can share cell phone numbers to text each other and not ever really even meet one another but maybe the cheating spouses may read them and get a little taste of seeing how bad it hurts.

What goes around, comes around!

Please don't have your own affair!  I had the same thoughts last year when I confirmed my H's affair.

I decided I would NEVER stoop to that level. Why would I want to be as disgusting as him? If no one else respects me, at least I do. It is important for me to lay my head down at night and know that I never did anything to feel bad about. The upsetting thing is that he calls from work me 5 times a day now. I think he is afraid I will cheat on him! Yes he deserves that, but I am the better person in this situation. When we were married 25 years ago, I took those vows seriously. Sadly, he doesn't even remember them.

Give yourself time. If you go down that road, you will be just as bad as her. Then you will hate yourself. I am so sorry for your troubles.

-mermaid-

I was certainly susceptible to a revenge A of my own at a point.  It didn't happen but with the right opportunity I have no doubt a) that I would have and b) that it would've made a bad situation worse.  The right opportunity didn't present itself at the time and I'm glad I didn't before I got my head straight.

I wish I had bookmarked the recent post from a BS who had her own revenge A.  She was in severe distress because she was feeling all the horrible feelings of being a BS along with the shame and heartache of betraying her H.  It was quite touching and good reading for anyone considering a revenge A.