Yes, I finally did it - I delivered the dreaded bomb to the OW's H. Man that was hard, he had no clue, but as we spoke and "compared notes" he started to put it all together. Also, I found out that at the time my H and I were supposedly working on "our" issues, (funny huh? OUR), and he was away with his "buddies"- she just "happend" to be gone as well and just "happend" to be at the same place!!! I think he was flabbergasted by how much I knew about his W. I had to explain that after the past 4 months, I have evolved into a part time investigator - driven by emotion and the compulsive need to find out more and more and more. He seems like such a nice person and was very articulate, calm and collected- a family man & a professional. I feel such relief that I told him and he was thankful that I contacted him. I gave him some advice (which I mostly I got from you wise folks :-) and told him about this message board. He is going to be in touch with me to let me know how things go. I hope for everyone's sake - once this is ALL OUT, the ties will finally be cut. But will it be enough for me to go back home to my H? When donkeys fly baby!
Oh - one more tidbit, I also e-mailed OW #2, she apologized to me and was honest - and get this! She said " I really hope you 2 work things out, in the meantime, I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers" What??? Okay lady... where were those religious thoughts when you were screwing my H? Needless to say - I did not respond to that bizzarre "well wishing" comment. But I did laugh my a$$ off! -hypocrisy knows no bounds-
What a week this has been! Was pi$$ed on Monday, cried yesterday, relieved today ...which emotion will surface tomorrow?
Hey Kimz. is it not the craziest of roller coaster rides!! I am glad to hear your conversation went well - what a relief it must have been.. You must feel good after doing it... I think when someone finds out about an A we have carte blanche to go crazy and do whatever we need to do.. at some point though there has to be a decision; as to what your life is going to be like!! but for today! you go girl!! Don't you hate when the OW says crap like that..it doesn't matter what they say anyways, they are liars and home wreckers and are selfish people... good luck, keep us posted.. xo nicole
lies, lies, and more lies. what makes our spouses think/believe that their deceit can go on forever?
the hurt that betrayal brings to our footsteps, there are no words in the English language that does it justice.
one by one we come here - most of us barely able to read the screens of others posts thru our tears. our spouses, in another room, hoping that by some miracle, this will all just go away. they do not get it --- they have changed our lives, their lives, our childrens lives (in some cases) forever.
while i do not envy the husband the pain he is going thru right now, i am sure that he is so grateful that he is now in on the game that is being played.
i am seeing some added strength in your post - knowledge is power, that is why you are driven to find out the all of it. i was like you as well, while there are some things i wish i had not found out because of the pictures they created in my mind, it did at least open up my mind to the real man i was married to - and not the imposter he was.
Good for you, Kim Z. And good for the OW's H, too. I can't imagine how many times I've said here that I wish someone had told me (not that anyone knew...).
Be prepared for a backlash of some sort now, either from the OW or your own H. Be strong, though, and don't for a moment doubt that you did the right thing. They should have thought about the repercussions before they acted poorly.
As for OW#2, I got that sort of luke-warm back-handed "I'm sorry for all the problems I've caused, good luck" spew from my H's xOW, too. She proved even that statement to be full of crap (she was back a few months later, fishing for my H, but he told me about it).
If you decide to work things out with your H, don't turn your back on any of them for second. I know that sounds reeeally negative, but his thinking won't magically change overnight. Until he's been to a good therapist for a long while and figures out why he sought secretive thrills, you'll need to keep your eyes open.
Love 
