Basics of Sex

This is even harder cos I'm mid 20s. So the guy I'm seeing expected  sex very early on and I wasn't ready...its too soon. Beyond reasons of being a virgin its too soon for me. I told him its too soon. He says, 'why?'... I know its ridiculous!! What happened to respect and understanding? Anyway I feel like the last thing I want to say is, its cos I am virgin ( partly the reason) cos I want him to understand without me saying that, cos if he can't understand something so simple yet so important we have nooo future! But really when is a good time to tell?? (assuming I continue seeing this guy!)

What about if I start a new relationship...when do u kinda say it...?? I feel like 'cos I'm mid 20s guys would automatically assume I am not a virgin. I don't have much relationship experience either...for some reason things never seem to get off the starting blocks for me....one way or another. So its all new to me.

<<I told him its too soon. He says, 'why?'... I know its ridiculous!! What happened to respect and understanding?>>   Him asking you why IMO doesn't mean he lacks respect and understanding.  He could have asked you why so he could understand your reasons and a way of knowing you better.  If I wanted to have sex with a man and he said no, it's too soon, I wouldn't pressure him for sex but I would ask him why he felt the way he did.  Knowing his reasons would give me a better understanding of him and depending on his reasons would determine if I want to continue seeing him or not. 

If you continue seeing this guy and since he already made sexual advances, why not just tell him you're a virgin and when/if you're ready to have sex with him you'll let him know when it's right for you.

You can expect someone to respect your decision and not pressure you but how can you expect someone to understand you if you don't explain your reasons.  It could be because you're a virgin, it could be you don't want sex until you know him better, until you're in a more serious relationship, until marriage, etc. 

Thanks for your input! Okay its complicated but I hope u understand the situtation (its not ideal...is it ever?) I met this guy abroad, it was about the 3rd time we met, we made out and this is when he told me he wanted us to be together..it felt like the right time to him. I wasn't offended. Okay I did explain my reasons to him at the time...and it was like he understood I told him, ' I need to know u longer'.. We ended up talking about it via msngr and he was behaving like he didn't understand at all. As if my reasons were not good enough! Cos he felt like it was the right time for him cos we don't know when we will see each other again...to me I understand that...but it wasn't enough for me to sleep with him there and then. I told him that also cos I want to know him better. He says to me he feels like he's known me all his life.  What am I to say to that?! So now its like we're having a long distance relationship and so its not as if sex is on the cards anytime soon. Unless I visit and then I was concerned he would be expecting it so that's why we spoke about it on msngr. It's still unresolved...he never said once he understood me. I don't feel as if he gets me at all. I will talk ( face to face...well via webcam or on the phone) to him about it though...but need an impartial view on this cos I am a confused girly...

<<He says to me he feels like he's known me all his life.  What am I to say to that?!>>  Tell him those are his feelings, they're not your feelings and that the two of you don't really know each other.  Is there a reason you're hesitant about telling him you're a virgin?

If you go to visit and you don't plan on having sex, make sure he knows beforehand that sex is not going to happen and that you don't want him pressuring you about it.

If he continues bringing sex up when you've made it clear then he doesn't have much concern for how your feelings on it and I would rethink being in this relationship.

Yeah that was where I was going with talking to him about it...expecting sex IF I visit him.

I like what u said 'tell him those are his feelings!' I love that. Its true!

I don't really know why I am hesitant on telling him. I just don't know why.. maybe cos of his reaction so far...? I just don't want him to say, 'oooh that's why'! When there are other reasons too. But maybe I should just get it out there...!

Honestly...I am already 'rethinking'.