You're right, faking orgasms is never good. You fake and therefore he thinks you're satisfied. When you fake, you're also depriving yourself. To orgasm you have to let your mind and body connect and come together to feel the sensations but when you're faking, your mind is concentrating *acting* out an orgasm and not on the sensations.
Actually a guy lasting 10 minutes during intercourse isn't considered too fast. A lot of men get off much quicker than 10 minutes but they can also teach themselves to last longer. If it's not long enough for your to orgasm, if you have orgasms during foreplay then you won't be left hanging when he gets off during IC. Having orgasms during foreplay can also help you orgasm during IC. Do you/he know that about 80% of women do not orgasm through IC alone without either clitoral stimulation during IC or the g-spot being stimulated? The clitoris is where the majority of the female sexual nerve endings are, the vagina has very little nerve endings.
If you need more after he gets off with IC, there's no reason the fun has to end, he can give you oral or manual stimulation afterwards.
Here's a good site, have him read it: http://the-clitoris.com/
how can i explain to him that girls take longer? You talk to him. If he's ready to jump into intercourse and you're not, tell him you're not ready and you want/need more foreplay, more oral, more manual stimulation, whatever it is you want.
he's had a few partners, and he knows where things are, but how???? He might know where things are but if you don't tell him what you need and want, he'll never know because he's not a mind reader. Not all women want and need the same thing, what worked for someone from his past doesn't mean it's going to work for you. All women and all men are different, what works for one doesn't mean it will work for someone else.
Tell him or better yet, show him what you need. If you orgasm with masturbation, show him how you do it.
how can i get him to "warm" me up too, before we have sex? i get him going and he just hops in the sack ready to go. . . As I said before, you talk him.
and finally how can i get him to instigate sex? i do it 99% of the time and it makes me feel like he's not attracted to me. . Again, you talk to him about it, let him know that you would like him it initiate more often.
With everything you asked, the key to a great sex life is being able to openly and honestly talk to each other about your sex life. Talk to him outside of the bedroom when you're not being intimate. Let him know when he asks are you almost there that it kills your mood. Let him know you want and need more foreplay. Let each other know what your wants, needs and desires are.
Love 
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