Basics of Sex

Hi. First off, me and my boyfriend been together for 5 years. Our daughter just turned 2. I had a c-section with her and ever since, sex hurts when he goes in deep and im starting to think when he goes upward. Im not sure if he is hitting my cervix, but he is hitting something and it hurts. I've tried different positions, but it is hard because he is large down there and i asked him not to put it all the way in. And then sometimes it stills hurt. I tried lube, doesnt help. Its making me feel bad because I want to have good sex with my man; i dont want him to go elsewhere although i know if he loves me he wont and all that, but I just want it to be good as most women do. My dr. just tells me women body's change after kids, but im not settling. I cant stay like this forever! Should I get a second opinion, go to a specialist, run tests (what kind?), or what?  I heard about lifting cervix surgery, but im not even sure if thats the problem or what. I get all my normal gyno tests done, so no stds and papsmear came back normal. I heard of something once talking about cysts on ovaries but havent tested since baby.

Also, i gained weight with the baby so now im self consious; too much to where i feel like i cant ride him. Not that i will hurt him, but i feel like im too big to move. I wear like a size 14-16. Im built really well (solid) so I dont look that big (like size 10 -12 probably) , but I feel like I am. Its just self conscious. And i know up down, side to side, around and all that, but i cant do it. Like i just sit there, not knowing how to start and how to move on it. I can lean forward and make my bottom ride, but i wanna learn how to do it sitting straight up on it. Which part of my body to move, which way, etc.

Im a confusing person, thanks for dealing with me. lol.

Do you have pain with all different positions?   If it's just one or two positions, it's probably just that he's hitting your cervix due to the angle of those positions.  You can try adjusting the position of your body or his a little, depending on the position put a pillow under your butt to lift you up more, try different things like that and see if it helps.  Sometimes it's as simple as repositioning yourself a little.  If it happens in all positions all the time, I would seek a second opinion.

With woman on top, support yourself on your knees, not your feet.  Grind down on him, gyrate your hips (think belly dancer) and then do any movements that feel good.   Your guy knows your body, he's seen you naked so what's there to be self conscious about when you're having sex with him.  One of the biggest turn ons is a partner that is confident with her/his body.  Here are some sites on WOT.

Hi there,

I would say a lot of the problems may be associated with your lack of self confidence, if you are feeling unattractive, heavy, big etc, your body may be clamming up to the extent where it isn't sexually aroused enough to take the impact of certain positions.

Our brain is our biggest sex organ, so if you don't relax it to the extent where it sends all the right arousal messages to your body then sex wont be as good.

I too would reinforce the fact that your man loves you, he has seen you naked, he knows what to expect......so don't feel embarrassed or self conscious....let loose and enjoy....

Tish gave you some great advice and articles to explore!

Good luck with your ride....pardon the pun....i couldn't help myself.... P+ :)

Basics of Sex

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