Basics of Sex

Okay so this might seem like a silly question but how soon is too soon to have sex?

To be honest I haven't had much experience on this subject as I'm only 20 and have had only one sexual partner. The reason I ask this is because my current boyfriend and I have been an official couple for about three months and dated for about 7 months before we became exclusive and we still haven't had sex. We've been close a couple times but I get really nervous and think we're moving to fast so I've stopped it. I'm worried he might get irriated with me eventually because of this even though he hasn't been really pushy or seemed upset, but he is 24 so he's used to more experienced women. And I truly care about him and don't want him to think all I am is a tease..

The reason I ask this is because most of the people I talk to say they've waited 8 or more months before having sex with there current partner. I just dont want to move to fast but to slow either..

IMO........No time is too soon and no time is too long.  Some people have sex on the first date, some not until they're married, some anywhere in-between.  Each individual has to decide when the right time is for them to have sex with someone.  I had sex with my husband on our 3rd date, some guys I dated I didn't have sex with at all, some I engaged in oral sex (giving & receiving), manual stimulation but not IC.  Each date, each relationship, I made different choices based on what was right for me at that time.

It doesn't matter what your friends do, it doesn't matter what anyone else does, you need to determine for yourself when it's okay for you.  My rule of thumb for everything is, if in doubt, don't.  If you wonder whether or not you should have sex with him then you might be better off waiting.  When it's the right time for you, you won't have to question it.  

Ask yourself if you have sex with him and the two of you break-up down the road, will you regret having sex?  Are you wanting to have sex out of fear that if you don't he'll break up with you?  If you have sex, have it because it's what you want to do but not with the expectations that sex will guarantee a future together.

Hi there, welcome to the board.

There is no clear cut answer to this question that i can give you. Its all relative to how each individual feels in their specific situation.

I would however say that, if you are questioning how soon is too soon, then it probably is too soon for your situation.

There is no time line for these things, so don't feel pressured to stay on a time track. Your boyfriend may feel ready before you but by no means should this pose any pressure on you to follow suite.

I would open the lines off communication with your boyfriend and discuss your thoughts on this issue. Explain to him that although you feel close to him you are not quite ready... Closeness is all part of the process of getting to the right point and instinct for intimacy....so any man that judges you as a tease....is probably thinking more of his needs rather than yours or your relationships.

Good luck!

Basics of Sex