Bisexuality

Hello, my name is John. I am really seeking some advise. I am a male and am married to a wonderful woman. I have been living with the urge to seek out my curiosity to bi sexuality. I know that most everyone reading this post will be female. Maybe, you or someone you known has had to deal with a male in my position.  I have known that I might have this interest ever since I was very young. Although, I have always and still now more attracted to women. As the years go on ( I am 36 years old ) have felt an attraction for men get stronger and stronger.

I probably should mention that I have always been a little gender confused. I have always related to the female side. I even have dressed and gone out as a female. This part of me is not a fetish. I truly feel my self when dressed as a female. I only get to do that maybe a couple times a month. Even with all of these gender questions I have had, I never was really into men. But now, it is becoming more of a reality to me. I want more than ever to feel what it be like to be with a male sexually. I have really never hung out in gay clubs and am not sure I would feel real comfortable with that.

If anyone has had to go through what I have or maybe has a spouse that has had the same feelings. Please give some advise?

Thank you very much!

Confused Jon

Hi John,

I can relate to your situation somewhat.  I'm male, mid 40's, married (2nd time), have always liked women and their bodies, but had some interest in guys too on & off since my youth.  Suppressed those feelings till my 30's, and then explored some of the curiosity (oral with another guy, give and receive).

I've never been into cross-dressing or gender confusion, but do have an interest in guys' packages sometimes.  I'll notice them in porn moves, and sometimes at the pools in Vegas if something/someone really stands out (good looking bartender, or super well-endowed guy in a Speedo!).

I've been with guys maybe 5 or 6 times over the last few years, but only 1 receiving anally.  Willing to do it more though.  I've no interest in being the giver ("on top"), but I have had some fun once I get past the stigma.   I guess it's mainly penis-envy or something.  I've had small, long, thick, and regular....it's true that size doesn't really matter overall. 

There's no clear answer, but only something you have to decide for yourself.  My wife would explode if she knew, so I keep it to myself, and am very careful on the few times I've explored "the other side of the fence."