I am just dreading the day I run into my ex with someone else. It still hurts SO much that I haven't even been able to let myself feel anything for anyone else, and the thought of him with someone else makes me feel physically ill. I can't stand it. How do you deal with these feelings and what do you do if you DO run into your ex with someone else?? :S
And another thing I have been wondering, my ex is 31, we have a child together, yet he still acts like an 18 year old player who needs constant female attention. I keep thinking, what if he just didn't want to be devoted to ME, what if he just treated ME that way, how do I know he won't treat someone else completely differently? Do you think at his age that he will ever outgrow the player thing and want to settle down if he hasn't already, especially having a baby? Or is he destined to be a bachelor forever?
My ex of over 4 years broke up with me about 2 months ago, now. Last weekend I ran into him with a girl who I knew he had an interest in, while in our relationship. I was so shocked and hurt, that I could not stand to look at him, and turned away to avoid the image burning in my head.
This running-into incident happened sooner than I expected. It felt like it was break up all over again, and everything I've worked on in the past 2 months had gone right back to square one. I had knots in my stomach and pain in my chest for 2 days. On the second night I prayed for the first time, with a lot of sincerety, because I really didn't want to feel so weak anymore. I felt a bit better after I woke up the next day. Then of course today I am here checking out other people's experiences. I have found the positive posts about how people haved moved on very encouraging. It's a bit painful, but I know I will get through it and get over it. You just have to have faith.
And then today I get this email (over arranging a time to pick up his belongings) and I realized, he never grew up! I am starting to see all his bad qualities, and the only thing I really miss was his company, but I just need to learn to live on my own. But really, I see so much clearer now.
Here's my question to you, so get ready: Why do you care if he remains a player? I mean, granted, in a perfect world he would be a good role model someday for your son, but honestly, methinks that ain't gonna happen. I'm thinking you'd be much better off thinking about what kind of man you would love to have come into your life to share it *and* be a good role model to your son, rather than grieve and wonder why oh why this guy with the biological connection, isn't. I think you got pregnant with him about three months into the relationship? Honestly, there's no way to gauge someone's true character in that period of time, at least, not enough to say without a shadow of a doubt, "THIS man is good father material." So take a lesson from that. Just because a man becomes a baby daddy doesn't mean he will make a good father, so quit beating your head against a wall about that.
Here's another thing: You're already working yourself into a frenzy over what might or might not happen. Really good way to waste a beautiful day. You're using so much energy devoting yourself to the what-if's and the whys, that you have none left to actually exercise the option to make your life great! Let's just assume you're going to *look* amazing, even if you feel like crap inside, and be done with it. Never let 'em see you sweat. ;)
Focus on making your life better, instead of being upset about why it's not.
I'm sorry to hear what your going through, I have been there and unfortunatly all I can tell you is that it takes time. Time heals all wounds. The best thing for you is to remove yourself entirely from his personal life, and I know how hard that is...you have to stop the urge to ask the questions, stalk, speak with his friends, assume things, etc.. Because you have a child together you can not cut him off totally, but you do need to keep your emotions in check. Again time will allow those urges to involve yourself in his life to slowly fade (probably never go away, he's the father of your child). You will eventually get to the point that you realize, good..she can have him.
In response to your "player" comment...NO...he will not treat anyone better than you and the reason he's probably playing the field is because things are always good in the begining and then the problems start. He cant find anyone better than you so he will be constantly searching and looking to fill the void which is you. But on the other hand, he cant treat you better either...... dont you think you deserve to be treated like a princess??
Love 
