Breaking Up Is Hard to Do

hey,

so here's my situation, he broke up with me 4 months ago. the reason he broke up with me is because he thinks that i don't treat him good enough, after dating for 4 years. He said he met someone else and that girl treats him very well...so in august, i get a text from him saying he misses me. and of course, he's apologizing and all and he hopes i give him a chance to redeem himself. so now it is october, he tell's me he wants me to forget about him and erase him from my mind. and that he is not a good man.Yet, he tells me that if one day he is no longer here, i will be the last person he thinks about. and he did sleep with the girl. i am very confused. he starts sobbing when we talk about the past relationship. he tells me that he loved me all along but i know he still care about me. he just feels so ashamed. i don't know what to do. sometimes when i think about it, i kind of want to give him a chance. but at the same time when i think about him sleeping with another girl, i get very frustrated. i am very confused. i need some advice.

Welcome to the board ci1314,

Sorry anyone that leaves you for someone else, wouldn't get a second chance from me.

Sounds like he's doing the 'come here, go away' dance. And yet, in your post, I didn't see a specific sentence that says he wants to try again. I'm confused too.

 

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.
- Erica Jong

 

When I went through something similar, my ex had only wanted me back because the other girl he'd dumped me for had dumped him for someone else and he saw me as an easy mark he hoped would fall for his lines and back into his bed. I'm not saying that's the case here, but has he proven himself worthy of a reconciliation, or does it seem like he wants you when he wants you, and wants you to just go away when he doesn't want you?

Here's some food for thought:

Does my guy have commitment issues?

Is he just using me?

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Hi,

I just parted ways with my b/f (of 15months) 3weeks ago,same story...."it's not you it's me"line but I also know he went to see his councellor twice before we had the "talk".Anyway after that he has called me 3 times,1st call he says he feels like running away from everything in his life,2nd call he says he has figuered that he is the way he is and wont change but how long am i willing to put up with him and he wants to meet me if i want to meet him too.3rd call he says "nope, i dont want to meet with you".now let me assure you i NEVER called him he was the one calling me.finally on the last phone call i said 'as much as i love you i now know your not the man for me' and wished him well and hung up,i have not heard a peep from him after that,problem is i really do love this man even though he does seem to have comittment issues.how do i get past this?

thanks,

It has been my experience that sometimes love just isn't enough, and that if my guy and I couldn't be on the same page about a major issue like marriage, then we couldn't be together since it just wouldn't have been fair to either of us to settle like that.

Even though you love him, could you ever truly be happy with him as he is, commitment issues and all?

Here are some great resources that I think may help with the breakup.

 
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