Breaking Up Is Hard to Do

To be honest, the "signs" you mention give no indication of anything other than friendship, and the fact that he has refused your invitations for "dinner & a movie" show that he is conscious of the need to maintain boundaries so as not to mislead you. Sounds like a pretty decent guy.

Unfortunately, since you obviously want more, it may be difficult (and even painful) for you to be "just friends" with him. Unless you can accept that a romantic relationship is not an option, I would suggest that you distance yourself as much as possible--do not contact him, respond to his emails politely but keep it as short and to the point as possible, do not inquire about his personal life, and do not extend any more invitations--or be honest with him and tell him that because you do have feelings for him that you are unable to be "just friends".

I understand that you are looking for a "sign", but the truth is that IF he were interested, you would know because he would tell you. Don't waste time and emotion on guessing, assuming & wishful thinking--you may just miss Mr. Right!

I also think you're hunting for signs and missing the road entirely.  The "signs" you listed really don't amount to much of anything at all.  The reason they feel like they do in your mind, is because, honestly they're in your mind, so you can make it look any way you want to.  But from the outside looking at these things objectively, no, not much of anything.

The two things that you listed as being possible signs that he does not want to be with you actually trump all the others that make you think he might.  They actually have much more weight than all the others combined.  He's drawing a specific line in the sand that he will not cross and doesn't want you to cross, and it would behoove you as a woman to respect yourself enough to not wait around in vain on someone who clearly doesn't want the same thing you do.

The split isn't "alleged"-- it is indeed a split.  You two are broken up and he does not want to pursue a personal relationship with you because it interferes with his work, and not in a good way, so he'd rather forgo the relationship than the job.  I'm sorry but unfortunatley that's just how things work out sometimes and it's best for you to not try to deceive yourself about it.

I think you should purposely try to avoid any kind of personal contact even away from the trip.  It's pretty obvious you cannot be simply "friends" with him.  Oh by the way, "being friends" right after a breakup of any kind is the biggest self-perpetrating lie otherwise sane and rational people trip themselves up with time and again, you wouldn't be the first.

Read my short article called "Handling Breakups at Work" in the Resources section.  I lived through it back in the day, so have many others, so will you.

Good luck!