Like a Virgin

I can totally relate. I didn't date much until I got into college...and at most, I went out with the same guy on maybe 2 dates. All of my friends were in serious relationships or married. The sad thing is, many of my friends made me feel inferior because I hadn't experienced sex. I didn't meet my first boyfriend until I was 22. We were set up by mutual friends. Although he was 3 years older than me, he was more knowledgeable about sex but was still a virgin as well.

What I'm saying is, hang in there! I never thought I would meet somebody who could deal with my awkwardness either. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 years and I am still awkward! A good guy will overlook your social awkwardness and shyness. And good friends won't make you feel inferior because you're less experienced!!

Unsuregrl, I'm in the same situation - only I am 28 years old (also haven't even kissed). So I suppose you can say I am a virgin in every sense of the word. Unless clit vibes would count. This isn't by choice, either. It's funny though because I started to seriously worry about this at 24 like you.

For me I have social anxiety so meeting people, going to parties, bars, etc has always been a little tougher. I would end up avoiding it. Needless to say avoiding people leaves you alone - so I never had many opportunities. The ones that I did have my self consciousness about my inexperience got in the way. Also, I'm not thin (not fat either) and always had this horrible belief in my mind that because of this I'd be less attractive to the majority of men. So on top of the anxiety phobia it made the thought of approaching them even worse, lol.

Over time I discovered guys do like me, it's just my reaction and response to them. I get nervous and don't know how to respond the right way or send the right signals. It would be easier for me to be platonic friends rather than boyfriend and girlfriend since it's so alien for me. Even though I'd like a boyfriend.

These days I find my fears are fading with the more I expose myself and address my anxiety issues. The problem is meeting the right type of guys. I'm not about to go to a bar or club for a one-nighter the thought of me flirting is comical, and with online dating I meet the most bizarre people. At the moment I'm a little confused about what to do.

Anyway,I'm not sure what to tell you. Only that you are not alone. In fact, I'm finding this type of situation for women is a lot more common than I expected (although not the norm). There are people who may find it weird and people who would be more understanding. You'll find someone eventually, hang in there.

I'm 24 years old and a virgin (never been kissed too) just like you. I dated one guy in high school - who later came out of the closet (which probably explains why he didn't kiss me in over a month of dating). I "fake dated" in college, and then was the queen of 1 date and done guys . . . went on 3 first dates, no kisses, and definitely no second dates.

Which leads me to now - I just started dating this guy (see the LDR forum) - we met face to face just over a couple weeks ago, but didn't kiss after our first date - rather we just hugged.

But he talks about kissing me next time we see each other, so I'm glad to know I will finally get that first kiss out of the way sooner rather than later in all likelihood. (He doesn't know I've never been kissed though . . .)

He is cool with waiting at least until we've been dating for a while before we do anything much more than making out. I had always planned on waiting until marriage before having sex, I know he isn't a virgin, but so far I appreciate that he seems happy to wait. When we talk about sex it's always in the future tense and in the context of a long-term committed relationship.

That said, I could see myself losing my virginty after becoming engaged. We'll see . . .