Like a Virgin

I never felt pressured in high school or college - if anything I felt positive peer-pressure to keep my virginity. All of my friends had made similar commitments to abstain until marriage - or at the very least until they were involved in a long-term serious relationship. In fact, most all of my closest friends were and still are virgins.

But I do feel more pressure now - not so much actual egging on (though I do have one friend who is always telling me to go ahead and have sex already) - more just a perception. I'm the only virgin in my department at work (most of my co-workers are my age), several of my co-workers are co-habitating with long-term partners, and a few others are actually married.

At 24 and having never been kissed (something I tell VERY FEW people, because if I were to do that they would look at me like I just sprouted an extra head) and still very much a virgin - I definitely feel like the odd person out. It doesn't help that I also haven't had a serious boyfriend since high school. I figured I would still be a virgin at this point in my life - but I never thought I would get to be 24 without ever having a kissed anyone or without ever having had a long term boyfriend.

Fortunately I have a boyfriend now . . . sadly - it's a long distance thing, so we still haven't kissed.

I think my mom is starting to suspect I might actually be a lesbian. LOL.

I feel very pressured at times. I've been dating an amazing guy for almost 2 years now (Well... November will be 2 years) and it's not him that's pressuring me, but my peers. My man and I aren't very physical. I get criticized for it by my friends a lot because most of them are not virgins and are borderline nymphos. I actually got so pressured that on our one year anniversary, I decided to make the suggestion that we have sex and even provided a condom. It was an extremely awkward moment, but he was very chill about it and flat out told me that he just wasn't ready for that big of a step yet. Later, we discussed it and I told him that I'm glad that was how the situation was handled because I felt like I was pushed into making that move by my friends. I was also honest in that, I do WANT to have sex with him... I love him. But I don't feel ready to. I know I'm not ready to take on the possible outcomes of having sex (mostly the whole pregnancy thing).

Bottom line, no one should ever make you feel like you should take this step unless you yourself feels ready. Sex is a huge step, reguardless of what our society today says. While it is rather aggrivating to have to continuously defend our personal decision that we've made as a couple, it's what makes us happy and comfortable, and that's what matters most.

Best of luck to anyone else who ever feels pressured... listen to what YOU think is right... and not what others or society thinks.