Like a Virgin

I happen to agree with you about being open.

However, on other boards posters constantly advise each other that "past is past" and how many people we have or haven't slept with is nobody's business. Perhaps from this POV, keeping it to herself wouldn't be so bad?

I always suggest to keep the past in the past, I don't feel it's necessary to inform a partner who you had sex with in the past or how many sex partners you had.  I do feel it's important to know if your partner has had sex or is a virgin.

With a virgin, virginity isn't just the past, it's the person's present.  I feel a partner should know if the other is a virgin so they know how to go about sex (more gentle, reassuring, making sure she's not having discomfort vs faster, rougher, hard thrusting sex), they know that she (or he) might be real nervous about it, anxiety might set in that can cause the body not work the way it's supposed to work, if it's the female partner that's a virgin the possibility of her bleeding, her tensing up making penetration difficult or uncomfortable during intercourse, etc.  

I'm going by how I would feel if I were with a guy that was a virgin, he didn't tell me and I found out when we were being intimate that he was a virgin.  I'd be ticked off that he didn't tell me because I feel there should be complete openness about our sex life.      

truebeliever,

I'm a 43 yr old virgin.  What you wrote describes me exactly!!  I believe in honesty in a relationship so before having sex with a man I will tell him with the hopes he will be more patient and understanding.   Oh believe me I know it won't be easy to tell him but I feel he should know.  If he doesn't understand or can't deal with it then it wasn't meant to be. .. yeah i know easier said than done.  

Hey everyone,

I wanted to say thanks for the imput people have been giving on my post. 

In comparison to world hungry and war, being a virgin at 38 is not a big deal I know but I never thought I would still be one at this stage.  I feel like I'm going to spend the rest of my life sleeping alone in a twin bed.