Betrayed Girlfriends Support

bellatre let me know that a certain woman (the husband/boyfriend schtuper) has a chip on her shoulder about him.  It was due to the fact that one night at a party she flirted outrageously with him and he played the good sport with her.  Then at the end of her stay at the party she glanced over to him and gave a "come hither" wink (like .. lets get it on) and he just waved goodbye.  He wanted to let me know because he didnt want me to hear about it from anyone else and to think that he actually wanted her.  In fact .. he played along for about 5 minutes because he wanted her to feel rejected.

In addition, she keeps trading up men like how boys trade baseball cards.  She uses the company of one man to get to another .. in other words .. she'll date a guy in order to get close to another guy she wants to date.  So not only is she very adept at pissing off friends by making plays for their guys .. she also pisses off men by using them like boarding passes.

bellatre said he has my picture on his phone - I didnt know that.  I also have 2 pictures of him on my phone - both current and handsome, if I say so myself.  One is the wallpaper for my new cell phone.

He wants to hear that I love him and I tell him, but I will post it here as well. 

He and I differ on how I would have preferred to see him handle things - he says I dont know all the facts and I agree and I hope that I get to see him soon.

He says we are getting interference with our telepathic communication and I agree with that as well.  So we will figure out how to handle things between us.

I told him that I have stayed away from him and have refrained from attempting to directly communicate with him in any way so that I dont mess anything up.  For now we have this telephathic communication and I dont like it, but he already knows that.

I'm bummed out so I dont post often anymore.  I'm tired of living like everyone's personal pinata or scapegoat and I'm tired of everyone looking at me like there is some free for all that they can get in on by harassing me.  It is really sickening and disturbing to witness the mental decline of this culture and country.

I find it astounding that people find it hard to believe that I havent been really clobbered in life emotionally by men or women or people .. up until 2002.  Well - I havent been and there is no reason for anyone to really be clobbered .. or with this .. no pain no gain mentality, or with this complete lack of respect men and women give each other and expect marriages to last.  Why are marriages falling apart?  because of this stupid game/crime.

Yes, I told him when I was hurting that I wasnt feeling the same old lovin' feelings I once felt for him because I was in pain and needed some emotional space.

I dont agree that people should ever play god with someone else's life .. do things to them because it would prevent someone else from doing it to them later .. very cult-like thinking and not how the real world has operated.  Not every single thing is orchestrated by some mogul who thinks himself god.  But .. I CAN say that if anything bad has happened to me in life .. it WAS because of this sick crime.  I generally dont create problems within my own life .. maybe that's why the incidence of bad experiences with men or people in general has been extremely low.

Yes, I told him how I dont like it when people confine themselves to options that others provide.  Just like when I was told (as a supervisor) that if I wanted to give out a 5 percent raise to someone in my department .. it would mean that someone else would get ZERO.  I didnt like those options - give everyone lousy 2% raises or deny someone a raise entirely .. so .. I created a new job and description for one of the employees and then her salary rate category would be much higher and enable her to get raises and not be capped out by her own job description.  At knight-ridder we had set salary ranges appropriate to the job description and not only was her job description completely outdated .. it capped out so she would not be eligible for decent raises. SO .. like I always say .. THERE IS ALWAYS ANOTHER WAY to handle things. 

The job description was outdated because she was doing so much more and was never recognized for it either in salary or in title change within the company.  I found a way to get the money to afford decent raises for all along with the job change for that employee.

My hedge is still being attacked - chemical burns.  I dont know what they want from that poor little hedge .. it has no bugs or disease .. just vandalism.

the reason I dont create problems for myself is that I dont have the sick mindset that everyone else has .. or had.  I dont create competitive wars with other women - if someone felt that way towards me .. then she was in her "role".  I dont butt into others' lives and create problems for them.  I just did my job, stayed loyal as a friend and family member, didnt create drama for myself or anyone else and had a healthy fear of things that warrant a healthy fear .. to stay in one piece and out of trouble.  This "face your fears" crap is also very dysfunctional .. one should have healthy fears of certain types of situatuions or things or people.  Disrespect is being seen as having no fears about your SO flirting or kissing or touching others .. when one should have a healthy fear of losing their SO in that fashion .. it creates an environment where you treat each other better.  The way everyone thinks is backwards to me.

Yes, bellatre ... I posted wardrobe selections on the dating doyenne board in a post about someone's first date.

I have been majorly bummed out here - life conditions, bellatre being away all the time and still no solid word from him about arrival date, more vandalism, just wasting away here.  What do I get to look forward to?  staining the driveway?  yippee!!

So  - bellatre said that I have not been talking to him when I think I have been talking to him.  oh brother.

He said that he thinks that we have some catching up to do and it would be better if we spoke in person .. but who knows when that will be?  I dont know .. that's for sure.  I hope things arent screwed up between us because of this communication problem .. hopefully bellatre will let me know if there is a problem .. maybe he thought I communicated when i didnt and there could be hurt feelings involved.  If he is hurt .. I'm sorry .. because I didnt start any trouble between us .. so I want him to let me know.

I hope things are on for our first date - yes I feel comfortable having a first date alone with him.  I really dont want anyone else there for our first meeting.