Child-Free by Choice

Ugh, for the millionth time, I am sick of hearing people refer to children as "blessings" as in "Oh he's so sweet, what a blessing!" or "What a cute little girl, what a blessing"

According to the American Standard Dictionary the defn of a blessing is:

bless·ing  (blsng)

A child is NOT the act of one that blesses, nor is it a short prayer said before or after a meal, and WE ALL KNOW that children DO NOT contribute to happiness (except perhaps in later years when they become your friends, but you never hear of anadult child referred to as a blessing) and children do not contribute to your well being (they stress you out more) and definatly do not contribute to prosperity.

I'm dying to say this next time I hear a child referred to as a blessing. But I'm still in the closet where being vocally childfree is concerned. Especially with my in laws and my close friends who are childed.

The other thing that irritates me is how when youre online and someone is introducing themself, either on a message board or other public forum, if they have kids their kids are always "beautiful" or "wonderful" as in "I'm a 34 year old woman with 3 wonderful children" WHY do they always have to say that? Can you imagine if pet owners always described themselves that way? "I'm a 41 year old woman who is the proud owner of 2 wonderful cats"

don't they realize how silly they sound?

<<<and WE ALL KNOW that children DO NOT contribute to happiness (except perhaps in later years when they become your friends, but you never hear of an adult child referred to as a blessing)>>>

I definitely see what you are saying but I've gotta disagree somewhat. I think for a lot of parents (unfortunately not all of them) children DO contribute to their happiness actually. Because I am CFBC, and children aren't something I WANT in my life it is differently viewed by me. But for my best friend for example, she always dreamed of having children and despite all of the problems and responsibilities they have brought her a LOT of happiness and I know they are truly a "blessing" to her. That may sound horribly cliched but I do believe it.

And as for never hearing an adult child referred to as a blessing...I have heard it, quite a lot actually. Since I reached adulthood and my mom and I are close and "hang out" a lot, and I help her when necessary (doctor's appts or whatever)...I have heard her neighbors, nurses at the hospital, etc, refer to me as a blessing. Granted, I kinda cringe. But I've heard it at least twice this year and in the past many times too.

It would make me roll my eyes less if the parent themselves called their children a blessing, because really, only they know for sure. I guess it just bothers me when my friends on facebook post pictures of their "cute" little toddlers and are told by their own friends on facebook who have never met the actual toddler in person, say "oh what a blessing!"

As for YOU being called a blessing as an adult child, THAT is really nice! I think many adult children ARE blessings to their parents. I sure am! LOL and I think that it bothers me so much that the younger the kid is, the more worth it seems to have in the eyes of our culture. I see this in news stories where if toddlers or children under the age of say 18 die in terrible accidents, it generates a lot more sympathy from the media, and the police etc, than say if an adult over the age of 30 dies in a terrible accident. I mean the adult over the age of 30 is someone's child too, is it not? Anyways, I could go on and on about this...and this is another topic all together.

Referring to things as blessings only bothers me when it is an obvious religious thing...it irritates the atheist in me. :P I agree with Digging that kids can be a blessing for some people while they aren't for others including me. Just as having a dog can be a blessing for me but not someone who doesn't want pets.

What I don't like about people that always have to refer to kids as blessings or miracles or wonderful etc. is that they seem to be trying too hard. I tend to wonder if they are trying to convince themselves or others that they believe it. But then I'm one of those people that generally keeps my feelings to myself and prefer when others do the same. There is also a little part of me that wants to ask people that I don't know well why on earth they think that I care whether their kids are wonderful or rotten. :P