So I've been lurking a lot lately because my best friend and cousin recently had babies and for some reason my family wants me to have one (I'm only 22).
But I was reading some of the posts and it seems that everyone here is so level headed and responsible all around. It frustrates me to see all these mombies and helicopter parents who all they've wanted in life is a baby and think of them more as trendy than a real human being. I come into contact with alot of those kinds of parents, and to think that those are society's "future".
If I ever decided to have kids I'd see it as raising children who will contribute to society and become well rounded and decent people.
Its kind of annoying to hear those moms calling CFers selfish. But who's the selfish one playing dress up and barbie with their kids?
After reading alot of the posts it seems that CF individuals would have the better sense to raise kids than these crazies who just want a baby cause its cute. I understand that everyone's made the choice not to have any children, but if only there were like-minded, logical thinking people having kids rather than the SAHM who has no goals for herself or her kids. But what do I know? I guess I would only be able to understand if I had kids *says sarcastically*
It seems like most or all of the CFBC people I know would make FANTASTIC parents. They don't coddle/pamper/spoil the kids in their lives and they are extremely responsible. My aunt and uncle are CFBC (they're now in their late 40s), but for a while they thought about adoption. I thought they would have made really great parents...my aunt runs a non-profit agency that helps prevent child abuse and my uncle is a very caring, quiet, sweet guy. They decided they really didn't want to become parents after all, so they didn't go through with it. I think a big part of it is that most CF people have seriously thought about the consequences of children, whereas a lot of the "mombies" out there just have kids without thinking. Most of the parents I do know that are good parents seriously thought about having kids before making the leap into parenthood and didn't just get knocked up. But yeah, I mean, if you want a child, you better make sure you REALLY want that baby and want to raise him/her to be a responsible, well-adjusted adult.
On another CFBC forum I visit (a UK one) we have often said people should have to have a licence to reproduce, which they should have to sit a test for. And the question was brought up, if only the people who were capable of passing that exam were allowed to breed, and one of the people that passed was YOU... would you do it for the greater good of society as a whole?
I still can't answer that.
One of the bingos the CF often hear is "Oh but you'd make SUCH a great mum!!" It is said to me a lot. I don't talk down to my friends' children - I talk to them as equals (still befitting of their vocabulary and maturity of course) and I don't take any crap from them. If one of them plays up I say "do you want me to start treating you like a brat? Because if you continue to behave like one, that is how I will treat you" and it works.
But on the flipside you get the mombies who have a real problem with CFBC women pontificating about unruly kids who are the result of poor parenting skills. They say "being a parent is The Hardest Job In The World(tm) and you have no right to comment on people's parenting skills because you have not got any of your own so how would you know?"
Well... in the UK there is a popular reality TV show called "Supernanny" and the woman who is called into people's homes to sort out the most out-of-control kids, gets the most amazing results and guess what - she doesn't have any kids!
A respected physician does not have to have suffered a particular illness himself before patients will trust him to diagnose and treat their condition.
There is a saying in Africa that it takes a village to raise a child. In the UK and from what I read on here the same applies in much of the USA, parents seem happy to let the village be accountable for the child until the village actually vocalise what's being done wrong then you get the Bitch & Backpedal again...