Mismatched Libidos

Can't decide what makes more sense.

Continue on my current path.  Remain mostly withdrawn.  Insist on no sex unless / until we can talk openly about sex.  Which may well be never.

Or initiate frequently.  And then what?  Hope she rejects me?  Hope she consents and we have "mercy sex"?

What do I want?????????

Phil is celebrating his birthday with his buddies. They're drinking and telling jokes and laughing and having a great time. Then the guys wheel in a 5' tall birthday cake, whooping and hollering and cheering as if they know something or someone is inside. Just then, Phil's wife Edith walks into the room with a serious expression and her hands on her hips. "If you love me, you'll send that cake back," she says. "No cake?" Phil says with disappointment. She answers, "No. Which will it be, Phil? Me or the cake?"

One of Phil's buddies pipes up, "Come on, Phil! You can have your cake and Edith too!"

For my life, neither one of those options would make sense because neither one would work for me, I wouldn't be happy in my life.  We're responsible for our own happiness, our own inner peace and we all have the choice to make whatever changes we need in order to find our own peace and happiness.