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Mismatched Libidos

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Why does there have to be a choice?

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message #:
  10728.1
replies:
  37
from:
  zejayge
date:
  Nov-2 5:21 pm

...between being admired and desired?...FLM, if you read this...upon second and third thought...I am a little confused...do you mean that you believe that there are those that would rather be desired sexually than to have their family admire them for good works that have an impact on the greater good?...that have posted here?...as I now read the whole thread...you seem to think that there has to be a choice between one or the other...I don't recall...though, I could be wrong...anyone ever posting that they would rather be desired sexually than have their families admire them....I don't think that anyone would come to this particular message board to discuss their good works for the greater good...it is a sexual relationship's board...so, desire is what is discussed... to the rest...does there have to be a choice?...I don't think so...the two concepts are separate for me...my desire for sexual desire for me by my husband has nothing to do with any sort of volunteering or any other good works for the greater good...so, I want both...
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discussion title:
 

Why does there have to be a choice?

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message #:
  10728.2 in response to 10728.1
replies:
  37
from:
  mommy_venus
to:
  zejayge
date:
  Nov-2 8:03 pm

The thread did kind of take on an either/or tone but I don't think that was FLM's doing. She spoke in terms of primary drives, one being significantly stronger than the other in some people. Naturally people will gravitate toward endeavors that the stronger drive dictates. The family vs community analogies kind of miss her point. I think it was a meaningful attempt on her part to empathize with HL posters who's strong emotional need to be desired baffles her.

 

 
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Why does there have to be a choice?

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message #:
  10728.3 in response to 10728.1
replies:
  37
from:
  freelancemomma
to:
  zejayge
date:
  Nov-2 9:49 pm

<<you seem to think that there has to be a choice between one or the other [being admired vs. being desired]>>

Not a choice, but I think one of them is apt to predominate as a psychological trait. You know, in a Myers-Briggs type of way (extrovert/introvert, perceiver/judger, etc.)

F.
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discussion title:
 

Why does there have to be a choice?

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message #:
  10728.4 in response to 10728.2
replies:
  37
from:
  freelancemomma
to:
  mommy_venus
date:
  Nov-2 9:50 pm

<< I think it was a meaningful attempt on her part to empathize with HL posters who's strong emotional need to be desired baffles her. >>

Yeah, you nailed it. Thanks for understanding where I'm coming from.

F.
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Why does there have to be a choice?

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message #:
  10728.5 in response to 10728.4
replies:
  37
from:
  zejayge
to:
  freelancemomma
date:
  Nov-3 11:52 am

...would you both agree that when one posts here...they are focused on desire, period...be it a lack of desire or too much for or from a partner/spouse...?...I think that when one comes here to post and writes "I need to feel desired"...they are by no means commenting on their views of life...in other words...I don't think that any of us can determine from words written here on this board that a writer may regard or value feeling sexually desired as more important than their other "drives"...
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