Problem Solving for Couples

I truly do not see how one of these situations is different from the other--they seem identical to me.  The only difference I can see is that your husband wants to go to his daughter's party with you, and he DOESN'T want to go to your son's party--in other words, what matters to him is how he feels.

That being said, one thing I can tell you for sure is that the best way to stir up trouble in a marriage is for the partners to focus their attention on who's "right" and who's "wrong."  Why does someone have to triumph over the other?  As you said, it's all about the kids (the young ones), so you need to focus on finding a way that meets THEIR needs.

Has either party happened yet? I'm wondering if you are both deciding about both, or if one party is in the past and one is yet to happen.

I agree with the previous poster. You may very well have the more logical argument, but approaching it from a who is right/wrong is not helpful, it puts one of you on the losing end of this. A more helpful approach might be "what can we each live with"? So can you live with him not going, or going to his daughters party whether he goes to your sons or if he doesn't go to your sons. Can he live with going to your sons party or can he not deal at all, can you live with his decision? If you can lay out the answers together, as a team, a compromise or "best answer to the shared problem" might be more apparent. Also, if you approach this as a team with a problem solving approach, there might be less resentment with the solution.

"The last of human freedoms - the ability to chose one's attitude in a given set of circumstances. " - Viktor Frankl.

I appreciate your input, as I needed to see if it was me being selfish or is it just him not thinking of it any other way other than when it comes to him....it should be done and when it comes to me.....it's just not right. I always thought that I was a pretty open minded person and have always been considerate so I always put myself in the other persons position. With that said......I guess it doesn't work like that for everyone. We are continuing to discuss it a little further.

Thanks again!