Problem Solving for Couples

Is it unreasonable of me to want my bf to stick up for me if people are teasing me (it was just joking around but what if they had been serious?) and my feelings get hurt when he does/says nothing?When I tell him it hurts my feelings he gets upset and tells me to "grow up" and "get over yourself" O.o This has happened two or three times now and each time he tells me the same thing ("grow up", etc)

A seperate issue...last week we were out at a bar with some of his friends, and I was looking through his phone pics, and found two pics of a woman pulling her panties aside (it was just the genital area no face or anything) and one of the pics she has her finger inside. I got upset and asked him to delete the pics but he just laughed, said he forgot those were there and put the phone back in his pocket. So I became all cold towards him for the next few days ad he kept asking me why and I kept asking him to delete the pics and he kept ignoring my request. Until finally a few days later he was trying to kiss me and I was refusing, and I told him he wouldnt get a proper kiss till he deleted those pictures. He finally did. And he told me that his friend Joe (one of the guy we were at the bar with) sends him those kinds of pics as a laugh.
Oh and to make it better, before I found the pics, his other friend had been showing a pic on his phone of topless women, and I caught sight of it and glared at the bf who just laughed.

If he wants to look at pics like those, fine, but I dont want to be there when he does, and I don't want him saving them on his phone! Is that really too much to ask?

How old are you and your bf?

You may want to tell him that this is a serious matter for you and it hurts your feelings.If he wants,he can ask his friend to not send him pics like that or block his number to not receive any pics.

If nothing works,then you need to tell him that it is a deal breaker for you.

Your feelings aren't silly, and your requests aren't silly. His behavior and his reactions just going off your description sound pretty immature to me, that might be why he's dating someone nearly 20 years his junior, he's searching for someone closer to his level of emotional maturity. It's not the only reason someone might date someone younger but it could be his reason, and I'm thinking he might need to go younger to find that match.

The only problematic behavior I see on your part is expecting him to change even after he's made it clear he won't. He might be willing to delete a few saved pictures if it means he's getting something for it in return, but I imagine the moon will be made of cheese before he changes his overall behavior because someone else doesn't like it. Most of us tend to revert to who we really are even when we want to change for someone else. If he truly respected your POV he could easily stop saving the pictures, but it'd be very hard for him to change all the factors that lead him to act and react the way he does, which include being very dismissive of your feelings and opinions.

Generally, I think anyone who tells another person to "grow up" should take a look in the mirror and say it again.

"The last of human freedoms - the ability to chose one's attitude in a given set of circumstances. " - Viktor Frankl.

Sounds like he's 43 going on 15.

Whether or not you think you're being silly, he doesn't give a crap about your feelings and isn't there for you in the way that you need to feel good. I don't think you should bother continuing this relationship to any degree.