Crisis Center: Rape & Suicide

There was a short article in a British newspaper this week that said that forgiving was important for relationships to thrive (and possibly, to survive).

Personally, I find that forgiving isn't something that is simple to do. One might easily forgive small offenses but have difficulty with bigger ones that involve bigger issues such as trust for example. Since we are at the Crisis Center, issues dealing with abuse of any kind would probably require several layers of healing and forgiveness (towards oneself, towards the circumstances) before one can even want to start thinking about forgiving the abuser.

Forgiving is also a personal matter. Some people need to forgive in order to move forward. Some people can forgive and not forget. Some people use the anger towards the abuser to propel them through their healing and recovery. Some are perfectly at ease with not forgiving and also being able to move on with their lives. Others find great difficult forgiving.

What about you - do you forgive easily or does it take time and work to forgive? Does forgiving mean that you forget? Does not forgetting make complete forgiveness difficult or impossible, or does it not have anything to do with forgiveness?

I agree that the ability to forgive often is directly proportional to the offense. But some people, raised in a particular religious or ethical environment, may find forgiveness not only easier but also a moral imperative. As for me...

Do you forgive easily or does it take time and work to forgive? === it takes time

Does forgiving mean that you forget? === not alwasy. Sometimes the offense cones roaring back with out warning

Does not forgetting make complete forgiveness difficult or impossible, or does it not have anything to do with forgiveness? === I don't know that it makes forgiveness difficult/impossible but it does tend to put me "on guard," watching for a repeat. A trust issue ---KWIM?

I am in a maybe forgive but maybe not forget category. I used my anger not to forgive or forget. Yet, I always felt I had gotten far enough along so that my anger no longer is an obstacle.

miladyknight

          LUPUS

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