Online Dating

Hi Everyone,

My name is Debbie and I have been a lurker for the past several weeks. I've learned a lot from all of you and it's making my OLD experience a little bit better/easier so thanks!

I wonder what you all do about people whose photos aren't posted. Some have great profiles and I've emailed them back and forth but when I finally get a picture I frequently find them to be, IMO, unattractive. I'd prefer to see the picture right away because 1) I don't waste time emailing with someone I'm not attracted to and 2) I don't want to hurt their feelings when I ghost as soon as I see their picture.

Does anyone else feel this way? Is there a polite way to ask for a photo at the outset? I dont' want to be shallow but if I'm not attracted I think it's pointless.

Thanks!

Debbie

I actually rarely respond to someone that doesn't post their picture - I understand a certain level of privacy, but it shouldn't be such a big deal IMO.  And yes, it is disappointing to say the least if you communicate with someone a little and then get a pic which you find to be completely not attractive.

BUT, if a profile seems interesting otherwise but there is no picture, I'll usually say something like "Hey, would you mind sending a picture?  I like to be able to put a face with the words."  Or "Hey, would you mind sending a picture?  You've seen what I look like, it's only fair that I know who you are too!"  Both of those are light and breezy ways of asking for a picture without making it seem accusatory or like you are all about the looks.