Online Dating

Oh, WOW. I have no problem with men or women being on multiple dating sites (I'm on two). What rather amazes me is that they don't change their username on the various sites. And they use this same username on ADULT DATING SITES!!! YIKES! I guess I'm glad they do, this way I can track them down.

I discovered this quite by accident a while back. A man on POF had used a Latin phrase for his username. I innocently Googled the phrase for translation, and up popped about six dating sites, one of them "adult." Ewwww. And, I was thinking about replying to this guy (but didn't after that).

So, I decided to check on another man I met last December. This guy was so unbelievably rude and wanted to vehemently argue politics with me. He had seemed like such a good match for me too. Well, he's also on POF (but I met him through match.com) but decided to Google his username today (I know, get another hobby, right?). He's on a site called Eroticy, and he has checked off the box "Looking for discreet relationships or casual sexual encounter." GROSS!! And what's truly incredible, his Twitter account uses the same name. Now, this guy is self employed and I'm just thinking what if his clients Google him innocently, looking for his Twitter account or something. It was interesting when I met him: he seemed to take an instant dislike to me even before we talked politics. It makes more sense now: I just wasn't his erotic playmate fantasy in person, so he decided to just be as offensive as possible.

Having said all of this, I still believe that there are very sincere men online, so I'm not stopping or becoming paranoid, but you can best believe I will Google all usernames I am thinking of responding to.

<<<And they use this same username on ADULT DATING SITES!!! YIKES!>>>

<<< innocently Googled the phrase for translation, and up popped about six dating sites, one of them "adult." Ewwww>>>

<<<and he has checked off the box "Looking for discreet relationships or casual sexual encounter." GROSS!!>>>

Im sorry, but I have NO IDEA whats "YIKES" or "Ewww" or "GROSS!!" about being an adult on an adult site and being interested in sex or a sexual encounter with other consenting grown ups.

In fact, to be honest, I find myself feeling a bit offended by your post and your attitude towards adults excersizing their right to explore sex and sexual relationships via the internet.

I myself was on adult sites and I am not yikes, ewww or gross as far as I know. Just a normal woman with what I consider normal appeitites who was exploring sex with other consenting adults on the net.

And yes, I was also on "regular" dating sites. I was interested in finding a partner at some point but I wasnt planning on being sexually starved while I waited to find him.

<<<Having said all of this, I still believe that there are very sincere men online, so I'm not stopping or becoming paranoid, but you can best believe I will Google all usernames I am thinking of responding to.>>>

I was no less sincere as a person or woman looking for love due to the fact that I was also on adult sites. Just because a man or woman likes/wants sex does not mean you should be paranoid about them or consider them less sincere....if they fail to admitt being on adult sites then yes, by all means they are hiding or fibbing etc... but to count someone out just because they are on an adult site is, IMHO, unfair. If my wonderful, amazing DH or I had done so, we would not be together or have the incredible marriage we have today.

Just my 2 cents.

         

That's a good idea about googling the user name--I've heard that suggested in the past but I usually forget to do that.  I don't have an issue per se with people posting on adult sites if that's their thing but I personally would not want to date someone who has an ad on one. 

Sheri